#this became such a bigger thing then I originally thought it would be
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stickynotelovers-art · 3 months ago
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I'm almost to the halfway mark for panels! (13 out of 26 ;v;). I'm trying to get at least a panel done every night. Most of the panels are duplicate angles so it's not too hard, but trying to keep everyone proportionally the same takes a lot of double checking previous panels. The same issue happens for placement of characters overlapping each other.
I'm also debating on whether or not to cut a panel out for pacing.
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aequitaes · 2 years ago
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@sicsemper suffer my tag rambles. ✌🏻
The way Haikaveh/Kavetham is written in a way that makes both of them have their individual characters while also being an integral part in each other's lives. Both of them have their own beliefs and ideology. They both have different things they work on, Alhaitham being this avid researcher and Kaveh being this idealistic artist. Their characters don't necessarily revolve around each other all the time, but there is no doubt that they are both very important people to each other. Kaveh is the exception to Alhaitham, and Alhaitham grounds Kaveh. They each complete the other while the other completes them. So even though they're their own people, you can't separate the influence they have on each other.
#/SLAMS FISTS DOWN/#/ME ON A DAILY BASIS SCREAMING AT THE MILK MAN LIKE—/#/DO YOU KNOW AND EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH IM FUCKING INSANE OVER THIS SHIP/#[ it’s not —- /even/ kiss kiss fall in love ✨ like do I want to smush their faces together and say nAoO kiss. sure. bc. they should#[ COUGH SUBTLE NOT SUBTLE HINT AT MIKA ]#[ I know this post outlines some of the Brief thoughts about Them but just in general they are a very well written and interesting concept]#[ like if you wanna do the thing of ✨opposites attract✨ sure — but it’s deeper than that. kaveh kinda seeks alhaitham back in the scHOOLING#days. he is Such an empathetic person that I shake him at times. and yet. I get it. I too am someone who just wants to understand emotions#and people. kinda like kaveh — that could fall into the people pleasing aspect - but it’s by being broad overthinker as (and a touch#dramatic - alright I’ll call myself out 😉 - that gives kaveh the ability to see the other perspective even if that can be a little#challenging at times. and it’s more like a challenge in and of itself. in Kaveh’s voice line he speaks about how alhaitham Does have a#personality - it’s just a big one and others wouldn’t understand#now I do think of kaveh sat down for a god Damn mINUTE. he would realise he knows alhaitham bigger and better than his /wHAT DOES THIS MEAN#thoughts ™️ and though they bicker like an old married couple — alhaitham just is the exception for kaveh. could it be argued that it was#more of an empathetic / sympathetic view to begin with ( as well as the more important he’s smart and I like smart people (v important not#to take away from that )) yes. to a degree — again — not the entire reason but it could be discussed (not argued pls we suffer enough#kavetham bickering ) that this was part of the original idea. and then they became friends. so beyond just being smart they must have#enjoyed each others company ( not me thinking about them laughing together 🥹🥹🥹🥹 )#(sorry brain went pause for a second cause them being happy is good for everyone’s soul thanks )#and within that kaveh would have picked up habits . routine . in their own ways they’re creatures of habit. again. I feel like this is more#from alhaithams perspective (mika feel free to chime off in the comments) and kaveh naturally adapts to that#empath. people’s feelings. people’s likes and dislikes#picture if you will. alhaitham noting that his favourite mug was dirty and he couldn’t have it for his coffee#thEN marriage bickering probably if wE knOw who’s responsibility that is. which leads on to something else#and he probably follows him to his room and then the mug is entirely forgotten about and it’s a different bicker entirely.#but mr dramatic stormy off pouty pants - y’know what he does? amidst his dramatic hand throwing and comments#he washes the mug. not because that was the original disagreement - no the mug was long forgotten - but because alhaitham commented#on it not being there for him. hello. happy alhaitham pls.#and it’s probably noted to eNSURE that mug is good to go for him from then on out#uGHHHHHHHH THATS ALHAITHAMS FUCKING WIFE
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couldeatthatgirlforlunch · 5 months ago
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The Lost Condom
Synopsis: You were in the middle of a spicy time with your boyfriend, when something odd happened: the condom disappeared. Inside. Of. You.
The solution? Go to the hospital.
The problem? Your family didn't know about your relationship.
Pairing: Jon Kent X Gn!AFAB!Reader; Platonic!Batfam
Tw: 18+; Only mention and slight description of genitals and sex, but nothing too explicit; All characters are aged up of course; English isn't my 1st language.
Word count: 1,8k.
Requested? Nah.
Extra notes: This isn't an original idea of mine, it's based on a real life story someone told me. Also the family finding out scene was inspired by this fanfic from @dccomicsimagines and this scene from Megamind. Also, eventually I will work on the asks waiting for me I swear 😭
General masterlist
So… You were in the middle of… Having fun… With your boyfriend… When suddenly, he said something that really confused you.
— Hmm… Babe… Where’s the condom? — Your head snapped back to look at him, since you were on all fours.
— Where's the ‘what’? — Your eyes were wide, unconsciously. Jon was blushing intensely, looking from your eyes to your entrance. He didn't know how to explain.
— I-I-I put it inside with the condom on, but now it's… Gone! — You narrowed your eyes. You watched him wrap and then enter you, you didn't feel him pull out at any moment, and even if he did, why would he tell you that he pulled out, took the condom off and then put it inside again secretly while you were still going at it?
You were both silent for a few seconds.
— Search for it! — You practically yelled at him, making him scramble to get off of you. You laid with your back down and legs open, looking at the ceiling, trying to calm down and not feel embarrassed. You felt him entering you with his fingers and searching around for minutes, grumbling and getting frustrated. The sensation was good… But you had bigger priorities at hand!
You huffed and changed positions a few times. A pillow underneath your butt, legs up, on all fours. Nothing worked. You even searched around the room and the bed, just to be sure. At some point, you both defeatedly decided it was best you go to the hospital.
The thing is, your relationship was still new, and no one in your family was aware. Lois and Clark already knew and approved, and you thought Cass suspected you were seeing someone, but you hadn't told them yet.
Especially Damian.
You and Jon knew each other years before Damian was even part of the family, since Bruce raised you since your birth — you were the product of one of his affairs, your biological mother didn't want to raise you, but she also didn't want to abort, so she and Bruce agreed that he would have you as soon as you were born — and he's best friend was Clark. Although, you didn't see each other much back then. It was after the Supersons became a team and besties that he started frequenting the manor more. You always had a childhood crush on each other — Jon thought you were beautiful and nice, and you thought he was cute and sweet, very different from the gross and rude boys from your school. —. Until you were each other's first kiss, then years later, first relationship, and first time. Of course, all in secret from Damian. The older family members only knew about your crush because of your physical language, but since you grew older and learned to hide, they assumed it was just a childish crush from the past.
Lois and Clark knew and approved, but they also always reminded you that you needed to tell Bruce soon, or at least Alfred, especially after you started being sexually active.
Unfortunately, the day came. Yes, you and Jon were old enough to have sex, but too young to be mature and brave enough to go to the hospital by yourselves. Lois was in another country for work, Clark was in the Watchtower in a League meeting, your dad was there too. Leaving the 2nd best option: Alfred — the best would be Lois, then Alfred, Clark, Cass, and then you would have to discuss which one of your other family members would it be.
Since you were in Metropolis — again, no one knew. More privacy wink wink —, Jon flew you back to Gotham, and you both almost cheered when you realized you were completely home alone, except for Alfred, of course.
Poor Alfred knew something was up when you suddenly were back from your “shopping trip”, with messy hair and clothes, red face and Superboy looking almost sick. He released a long sigh.
— Mx/Miss/Master (Y/N). Young Mr. Kent… — You cleared your throat.
— Alfred… We need help…
After you explained everything, Alfred looked ten years older. He didn't comment on anything, but his face showed how unimpressed he was. He just gestured for you to follow him to the garage, took the keys and started driving.
— Let me warn Master Bruce while we are-
— NO! — You yelled, started. He looked at you through the rearview mirror disapprovingly.
— Should I remind you that he will see the hospital bill and go after the truth? — You bit your lip.
— No, I know that. Just… Can't we pay on cash? — You smiled at him hopefully and nervously, but it was more like a grimace. Alfred was silent. You groaned. — I will tell him okay! Tonight! — Jon’s eyes snapped to yours, wide. — Relax! You're not gonna die!
— Yeah, until Damian whips out a kryptonite sword… — He groaned, hiding his burning face in your neck. You huffed, now wasn't time for him to be adorable.
— He doesn't have a kryptonite sword. Dad didn't let him do it. He would have to build it first. That would give him enough time to calm down. — Jon looked at you, indignant. Alfred cleared his throat.
— While we're there, I can't make any promises that if your father asks, I will hide the truth. He will know. — You and your boyfriend groaned, rubbing your faces with your hands.
— Yes, Alfred, I know…
Two hours later, you were finally laid down in position for the doctor to begin the procedure. Since if wasn't anything serious, you were on the emergency and there was only a curtain separating you from the rest of the patients outside. Alfred was sitting just outside, waiting, while Jon was standing by your side, holding your hand, as if you were about to give birth. The doctor was amused by your story, and her jokes helped you calm down.
She searched around you for a few minutes, the instrument she was using inside you being a little uncomfortable. Jon was silently horrified when he saw, you were startled too, but maintained the composure.
— AHA! Found it! It was really deep inside, almost on your cervix! — When she pulled out the condom, you both let out a breath of relief you didn't know you were holding.
You quickly put your clothes on again, you and Jon chatting as everything seemed lighter, and then left.
What you didn't know was that when Bruce got home and you and Alfred weren't there, it made him call, finding out just that you were in the hospital. Alfred refused to say much more than reassure him that it wasn't urgent and that he would soon know, thus he didn't have to crazily drive all the way there. That didn't stop him from alerting all your siblings.
When you got home, your whole family was there.
— Jon?! What're you doing here? — Alfred kept a straight face. Wow, he really wasn't going to help.
— Hmmm... — Jon subtly and subconsciously hid behind you. You shifted from one foot to another. Damian got up with a threatening scowl. You just came from the hospital. With a kryptonian.
— Kent! If you hurt my sibling I will-
— I didn't! — Jon almost yelled, then covered his face with his hands.
— Then, what is happenning here? — Bruce got up with a raised brow, analyzing the situation.
You thought for a moment. You either told them now and made things easier, or you spent all the way to dinner with them bothering you to tell. You could take it, Jon couldn't.
You took a deep breath.
— JonandIwerehavingsexwhenthecondomdisappearedinsideofmewecouldn'tfinditanywheresoweaskedAlfredforhelpandwenttothehospital.
They blinked.
— … What?
You huffed.
— Jon and I were having sex, when the condom disappeared inside of me. We couldn't find it anywhere, so we asked Alfred for help and went to the hospital. — You said, slower this time, although uma lower, more abashed tone.
Silence.
— … But… It was stuck inside? Weren't you wet, though…? — Tim's analysis broke the silence.
— SEX?! — Dick and Jason exclaimed.
— YOU WERE HAVING SEX WITH MY SIBLING?!
— Knew it. — Cass smiled and nodded, proud of herself.
Bruce heaved a sigh and sat down again.
— I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS! — Damian threw Tim's coffee mug in your direction and Jon zoomed in front of you. The mug broke. Jon had a sheepish expression.
— Tim, go grab kryptonite. — Jason ordered and got up, walking toward the hidden compartment in the shelf where he kept his guns. Dick held him back while Damian threw a flower vase at Jon.
— No! Don't do that, Tim. — Dick ordered back. Tim shook his head.
— I wasn't going to anyway… — He mumbled. Damian threw the center table.
— YOU ACTED BEHIND MY BACK! YOU TRAITOR! YOU- OUCH! PENNYWORTH STOP! — Alfred tutted, pinching his ear.
— I'm sure civilized conversations don't involve breaking the forniture. — Alfred shot a pointed look at Bruce. — Master Bruce! Say something! — Your dad just kept gazing at you and your boyfriend.
Cass sighed, stepping toward Bruce and sitting beside him.
— (Y/N)’s happy. He’s good. They're careful. — Bruce nodded, finally showing some reaction and looking pleased. Jason stopped struggling against Dick and looked at you.
— I don't care. I'm going to kill him. — Damian growled, starting to pace around the room in anger. Jon silently sighed in relief that Damian kept his distance by being on the other side of the room, the couch and the whole family serving as a barrier. You stepped forward.
— It's not casual. We've been together for almost two months now. — Everyone but Alfred and Cass gasped. Damian burned holes in Jon’s head with his eyes and your dad looked at you, masking his mix of emotions.
Cass tsk.
— So clueless. Many signs. — She shook her head.
— (Y/N), why didn't you tell us before? — Dick asked carefully, walking in your direction and stopping in front of you. Jon fiddled behind you. You shrugged.
— Didn't want to deal with you all while we were just starting things. Especially if it didn't work out.
— When were you planning to tell us? — You pouted.
— I don't know… In a month or two? You guys probably would find out by yourselves. — You shrugged.
— You've been sneaking out a lot… — Tim spoke up for the second time, catching everyone’s attention. He was fiddling with his laptop, likely doing his own investigation. The ones closest to Tim looked from the monitor to you again.
— When did you go to Metropolis?! — Jason exclaimed, indignantly.
— Hehe…
Damian growled.
— So that's why you've been ditching me?! — Damian pointed a finger at Jon, who scratched the back of his head.
— Surprise...? — Jon weakly sang the word.
Bruce cleared his throat.
— So that's why Clark’s been acting like he was happy he knew something I didn't… — He got up and pointed at you. — No more sneaking out. Ask permission before going anywhere. — You opened your mouth to protest, but he stopped you. — Either that or you're grounded. — You pursed your lips and nodded in defeat. — Now we will talk about birth control…
Comment, like and reblog 🥰
DC Taglist:
@wandalfnation @vadersassistant @h0rr0r-10ver-69 @hxsun4 @silverklaus @toast-on-dandelioms @bluewillbon
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burstinn · 8 months ago
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THE EVERY GAY MANS DREAM READER
TALL, BUFF, BIG BOOBS AND ASS everything
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Can't find no good pic for this so..
This post includes:Ghost, Graves, Price, Soap, Nikto, Riptide, Krueger, Konig, Alejandro, Rudy, Gaz, Horangi, Makarov, Velikan, Keegan, Roach. In that order
Yes I wrote all those, yes because I haven't written in a while
Notes:
- NSFW and SFW (Bottom male and top male reader mentioned)
-since y'all like the big buff n' tall male reader, made him bigger and taller basically mixed everything I wrote about male reader, tall, big buff, big cake, big boobs it's like a package in one this will probably be the last of this type of reader since running out ideas. It was hard making original headcanons 💔💔.
-Omg I haven't written in a while so like this might get idk boring?
- Yes again headcanons,you're favs
- strictly MALE READER not Gn rn
- readers age is ambiguous but if you can't think and want an age for reader my thinking is somewhere near late 30s or early 40s
- Some of the HCS have where y'all ain't in a relationship some HCS have y'all r in a relationship
- these headcanons definitely are mischaracterized but let me pretend for a bit 💔💔
- Tiktok got to me now I have brainrot language, so Trigger warning wooohh braiinroot
- can't believe this post was long enough to make my phone lag just a lil bit
- When he first saw you of course he was 😦😧😮
GHOST
- Like okay overkill, like you're taller, buffer and probably have a huger cock??? (Something he can investigate.. For purposes..)
Like you also got smoobs?? A plumpy ass??
Like save some for the rest Jesus 😒😒
- Nonstop staring secretly ofc, You be like in a room then you feel someone staring just to see Ghost somewhere in the corner of the room. You can't tell if he's staring or not but being that you are in an empty room.. Yknow it's kind of obv--
- BUT if you are not in an empty room you will not shake off the staring I mean holy shit look at you like 😨😨🍑✋
- You can literally hear him breathing heavily under his mask like how can he control himself when HE a person who is supposed to be looked up to literally and figuratively now has to look up at YOU?? do you know what does to a person??
-That's right it makes them freaky..
-Probably jerks off to you too
- I mean who doesn't want to get railed by a 7 ft tall man? Especially ESPECIALLY when you've been the supposed dominant person your whole life??
- OMG immediately Cumming to the thought
- I mean he won't mind topping you it also drives his own ego seeing a dominant man get absolutely wrecked, imagine the begging and whining
- plus he won't mind being the person who feels protected not always doing the protecting like 💔💔 he wants to feel protected too 😞
GRAVES
- Immediate gay awakening
- thinks making his western accent more prominent would make you think he sounds more hot
- Will dress up as a cowboy and will will ask (beg) you to do it as well
- because you know.. Hat thing.. Riding.. Graves grabs your hat puts it on his head or Graves grabs his hat puts it on your head, either way one of you is riding something and it ain't a horse
- because of the amazing quote on who ever came up w/ that is "save a horse ride a cowboy"
- Graves is obviously the type of guy to look at your ass and whistle maybe slap it, nah definitely slap it
PRICE
- He thinks of you like a bear
- like You're soo- big and cuddly? Definitely intimidating
- I mean you're near the same age bracket so it's not bad to have some.. Thoughts right?
- You're definitely hairy underneath or not but pls be he wants pubes to tickle his nose
- if you don't have a beard for reader then he would KILL to see have a beard like aughh perfect bear look, if you have a beard immediately cumming(/j) or (not /j)
- Like imagine you and price who are basically like bears like parent bears and and you the other 141 boys are like your children 🥺🥺
SOAP
- DEFINITELY became more gayer
- errrmmm.. Like his eyes are BASICALLY near like chest height
- bumping into you and his face touches your chest like omgg.. Such an accident 💔💔
- Obviously flirting about going to pound town
- like imagine You and Him? In a relationship? Having the most feral sex??? Like it's obv jokes (it's not)
- He would also do anything to see a big man whimper like a little bicth slut, who wouldn't want to see a demon of a man roll his eyes back and whine like a wheoeororoe❤, I mean if he tops I'd imagine him saying "cmon you're a big boy ain't cha'? You can handle a few more inches". While you are also getting the malevolent backshots.
- He would also want a big strong arm to man handle him as he takes the most vigorous backshots known to man
- Have you ever thought or seen a very tall wall like 10 or 11 ft high and you being you, Soap asks (demands) for you to carry him on your shoulder because he wants to see what's over the wall
NIKTO
- intimidating guy and intimidating guy typa relationship but your not in a relationship.. Yet.
- watch him watch you
- shows off his knife collection to you, yes I think he has a knife collection and he will show it to people that he wants to impress (he wants to get freaky with you)
- I like to think if he strips off the gear he gives the most desperate kind of touchy hug, to those he feels close with of course which is you
- lucky you
RIPTIDE
- Offers to teach you how to swim yknow just in case
- there is none, he wants to see you wet
- tells you to wear a white shirt and shorts because its Essential for training, it's a lie he wants to see the water wet your clothes making it stick to your body.. Yknow the white shirt showing whats underneath and the shorts outlining what package you've been hiding even though you weren't really hiding it
- He gets too distracted, the others are too, he forgets how to teach you
KRUEGER
- indefinite eye contact while your doing it
- likes staring into them, if you get shy and look away he will grab your jaw and make you have eye contact with him
- angry fierce ahh eyes
- he's an emotional grumpy guy, rip off his mask and aggressively kiss his face
- He wants the after sex laying on the chest while the other is rubbing their head, goes both ways.
- trace his tattoos and compliment them the bedroom will be locked the whole day, trust 🙏
KÖNIG
- The same as Ghosts
- Imagine being the one to get carried instead of the one carrying
- König would definitely come up to you and ask to be carried while you kiss his face multiple times❤❤
- Imagine how hard he gets because you have to look down at him to talk like HNGRHRRGGGRGRRR
- Definitely likes giving you homemade arts and crafts gear because you know.. The headcanon where König makes his own gear and what if he does it for other people too as gifts💔
- likes seeing you wear his mask it makes him imagine what people see when they see König definitely a change of perspective. He can see how intimidating you are and he gets hard.
ALEJANDRO
- will definitely compliment you in Spanish when talking about you with other people even when you're in front or behind him.
- I mean you don't understand Spanish right?
- if you don't, you're oblivious and only just watch curiously on what he's talking about. Buuut but but if you do understand you don't tell him you undeestrand this thing literally feeds your ego like Alejandro thinks of you this way? 🥺🥺
- Thigh riding type of guy idc who thigh riding
RUDY
- everytime I look at him he looks like a soft vanilla type
- I know he's a strong guy but look at him
- He wants soft sex 😞😞
- He also likes being complimented if you whisper a praise to him when he's doing ANYTHING. Imagine the babies you'd both have together.
- He likes toddlers and babies and if you do too a plus for him,makes him fall even more 💯💯
GAZ
- One time he Got injured and was sitting on the floor and then He saw you running towards him he simultaneously screamed in fear and how hard he got
- Likes to style your clothes, If he was off the military right now he really really likes fashion and if he sees you.. You can't fashion and he sees you wearing.. That, He's appalled, horrified, mortified I'm over exaggerating. But he is now in charge of your fashion now, But if you do know how to style you both will share tips with eachother. You can share different tips too ❤❤
- drags you in his barracks and strips you of your clothes except shorts.. And he's telling you this because he wants to "style" you.
- We both know damn well that's an excuse to get the boombayah freaky on.. He's just to shy to tell you upfront or he thinks it's fun to tease you like that before you get freaky
HORANGI
- gets freaky..
- Like he understands the women who get all giggly and nervous when they see a big man who can destroy them (ignore König 💔)
- is definitely not above thigh crushing, boob crushing, face sitting he'd do all at as long as it's you
- Like one time he pretended he broke his leg and won't let anyone else carry him until you came, acting all princessy and shit as you carry him bridal style to the medics
- He felt like a prince omg
- will definitely get on you and treat your real life size anime men boobs as a squishy toy
- How long is it and will he be able to take it??? Who knows he will find out!! Basically searched how long can someone's cock be if they are built like a god and is 7ft tall in Google
- someone gotta tell me Horangi's height and basic Google searching ain't doing it for me I'm too lazy to search for one line of a spicy headcanon line mb
MAKAROV
- You're basically ascary dog he owns
- You're tall and intimidating
- You can get information out of people quickly
- And he's not above telling you to torture anyone with a strength and body like yours
- most of the time you get the info done and folded
- Makarov uses you for intimidation and strength buuttt if you ever THINK of betraying him he already has a plan to get rid of someone like you
- Can and will turn you into one of those supersoldiers
- Will make you murder people right in front of him for entertainment and will rewward you!
- you know what reward it will be, Because when he asked what reward you wanted you got a bit to freaky you thought you be dead rn but nah he agreed actually he seems to enjoy it more than you do..
VELIKAN
- He's the dog in this one have you heard his voice?? Rough as hell imagine hearing him grunt
- Sounds cocky as hieeeellll too
- Would definitely like showing off to you since he wants to look cool in front of you
- Like you seen velikans skins?? Definitely wears the best ones to show you he can not only be a trained assassin But can also dress cool as hell
- If you compliment him it like makes his day, will not stop thinking about it
- Like a cool person complimenting a cool person like him? Ego boost (It's him feeling gay)
- This guys definitely a smoker (headcanon!!) Because voice sounds like he smoked 100 packs in 1 day and doesn't drink an ounce of water /jk I love him he's so hot.
- So if you want a smoke he purposely hides the lighter saying.. 'Oh no I asked someone elses lighter.. I don't have mine right now' or like 'my lighter ran out of fuel ohh
- So you have to put the cigarette in your mouth as you touch it with his cigarette to light ur own that type of trope 💫💫
- If you're not a smoker he will try his best to not smoke in front of you will use fresh mints to hide his breath of smoke
- after sex he will want a smoke, outside he goes or you both share the one cigarette
KEEGAN
- is it wrong to want to be choked by a big buff meaty arm?
- yknow the tiktok thing where girls put a ribbon on their boyfriends arm and the girls just put their face in the middle as their faces get squished??
- Yeah he wants that but gay
- will try to compare dick sizes even though yours is OBVIOUSLY the superior one!!
- Heads or tails on who's bottoming tonight
- Would like to be wrapped around your arms if you are hugging or sleeping keeps him warm
- Especially when it's snowing will force you to hug with him. ESPECIALLY when your in a mission and your in the tents he will definitely force you to hug it out with him
ROACH
- remember the other tall HC where the reader wasn't taller than König
- yes roach does the same thing here.. He's crawling on you like a tree
- If he wants a kiss instead of asking he crawls up to you and kisses you
- definitely likes to sit on your shoulders as you walk around, he feels tall like that
- this is like a distance relationship 💔💔
- Likes it when you bend over to talk to him also when you bend over when youre doing sum since it's slappable opportunity
- because bent over = double D cake will be slapped
- How will it fit? By the power of friendship of course!!
- probably more of say gex desperation but you get it
- Obviously switch switch
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sillygoosealert · 6 months ago
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Weird thought, but imagine being Sukuna's favorite person/concubine once but someday he brings someone home or replace you, so then you die(obviously, your human) so then sukuna kinda felt heartbroken.
Now let's travel back to current timeline where sukuna is in yuji's body, Gojo decided to let his students meet his fiancee only for sukuna to be shocked cause it's reader reincarnated.
Once more to see you
Not a weird thought at all, silly ❤️
Sukuna x AFAB reader (for like a paragraph or two) Satoru Gojo x reader
pregnant! Reader, stress, suicidal thoughts, thoughts of self-mutilation, body issues, big BIG warning for pregnancy and dying and so many other things just be cautious, please. Angst NO COMFORT ‼️, uhh unless you take the whole lobotomy route as comfort then yeah happy ending or wtv
Loud moans and barbaric grunts echo through the castle- originating from Sukuna’s chamber
All you can do is sit outside the door and listen as you wait to see him
The newest concubine is with him as of now
She looked similar to you- but much thinner, almost how you looked before
Her face emits a sense of pure life and hope, a rare find
Your bulging stomach is more than noticeable, as you are now 4 months pregnant
Thinking of having a baby with him is a terrifying thought- for so many reasons
Whether he will continue to keep you after you give birth
If you will live after you give birth
The baby is massive so far, much bigger than any human child
You aren't even sure if your body can continue to manage nurturing the baby much further past this point
Sitting outside the door quickly became too much and standing was out of the question
It was best to just find a better time later to talk, he doesn't prioritize you over..anything if you think about it
In fact, Sukuna wouldn’t gaze in your direction even if you were to bleed out and slowly die, so, you go to your separate bathroom to start a bath
The thought of laying face first in the water and drowning yourself crosses your mind, but it goes away as you really think about it
If it didn't work, the punishment of living would be much too severe for it to be worth anything
The thought of living also crosses your mind, would it really be worth it?
To carry his child, and then to watch as he becomes his father?
If you didn't lose the weight would he be disgusted with you?
Just as you are about to leave for your room, he comes out, interrupting your thoughts
The woman is beside him, and he guides her with a hand on the small of her back
It's not rough nor gentle, the hand that pushes you out of the way as they walk down the hall
But the mental feel of it is excruciating
Your vision is blurred as you drag your feet to your bathroom
Your body is weak and malnourished
Then you trip over the decorative rug in the middle of the too-clean room
But you make no move to get up
The floor envelopes you as something hot and wet fills your underwear
This was bound to happen
You knew it, but you also knew you could only sit and wait as there was no way you could give birth to his child
It hurts, so bad
But that reminds you how real you are, that you feel things just like others
Maybe you didn't deserve to be ignored by the man who impregnated you
Perhaps you didn't deserve this life
All the bad things that happened aren't because you're a bad person, it has nothing to do with you
This was never meant to be your life, something more pure was
And as your consciousness slips away, a better feeling welcomes you
A better life waits ahead
And this one finally ends
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Humans were like pets to Ryomen Sukuna. His servants took up such a little present of his life- but he took up almost all of theirs.
But you? You took up his everything. Late in the night after you were found lifeless in your separate bedroom- something he regrets making you have, he felt a change that night. Disappointment was a distinct feel, but there was something else. Hurt.
Possibly because this was something he now had no control over. Or maybe he was attached used to you.
None of that mattered in the end. You were no more. And as of now, so was he.
Originally split into 20 fingers- he now is trapped in the body of a high schooler.
He knows what he’s waiting for. More specifically, who- Satoru Gojo.
His body shakes with excitement as he thinks of all the ways he could kill him, threaten him, scare him into submission.
But that doesn't happen; not today at least.
Instead, he sees a much too-familiar face..but he doesn't immediately recognize who you are.
But as you come into view, arms interlocked with Satoru’s, greeting his students, he becomes filled with the need to switch.
When he heard you call out to the students, a realization washed over him.
That was his girl his concubine wrapped around Satoru Gojo
He knows it's you, it has to be. But he also knows his options are limited
He could call out your name- if it hadn't changed, or he could watch as you genuinely smile next to another man
If you had remembered him you wouldn't be with someone else, he knows that for a fact- right?
But you don't, he doesn't think you do at least
There's nothing he can do to remind you of all the nights you spent together
There's nothing he can do about it.
There's nothing he can do.
There's nothing.
.
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This was going to take such a different route LOL. You were going to be eaten by either him or curses. The thought of going into more detail on the whole malnutrition path because of the baby also crossed my mind. It was going to be a DDDNE path. But no one would want that so I didn't <|3 Js did something short and sweet because I spent too much time making it ;( sorry about that, I love you all soooooooo much ✋ 🤚 (that much) ❤️
1K notes · View notes
giannaln4 · 2 months ago
Text
Sorry Won't Fix This
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lando norris x fem reader
summary: Lando makes the biggest mistake of his life, bigger than any apology, and you both hoped there was a way to fix it. Unfortunately, you both wished it at different times. (5.5k words)
warnings: angst, cheating, mentions of sex, manipulation, mede up characters, use of Y/N
a/n: I FINALLY WROTE MORE ANGST! This is a long one and I held nothing back. I really did try to make it as hurtful and dramatic as possible and ngl I was inspired by 'Don't worry darling' for a tiny part of this (you'll know when you read it) but anyway, this one does NOT have a happy ending so please let me know what you think!
Check out the original request here!
↺ back to navigation — send me a request!
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You had a terrible feeling, but you were too scared to look into it, terrified you would be right. 
Truth is, you started feeling like that just a few weeks ago, when you went back to Lando’s apartment to surprise him with lunch and found an empty room and the bed unmade from somebody sleeping on it. Any other day that would’ve been completely normal, but you had stayed with him the night before and made the bed as soon as you both got up to get ready for your separate plans for the day, leaving a perfectly made bed to come back to. 
Before that day, you would’ve never in a million years thought that Lando would cheat on you. He had always been so loving and caring, even before you started dating, and once you officially became a thing, he would constantly remind you how much he loved you, and on special days he was the most romantic person ever, and you always thought that you would spend the rest of your life with him, but now... you didn’t want to think about it, but you couldn’t bury the thought of him with someone else after it crossed your mind briefly while looking at the messy bed.
Later that night you asked him about it, trying hard not to sound like you were accusing him of something, but his excuse just made you feel worse, your suspicions growing.
“What do you mean?” He asked as he inspected his bed, unsure of what was wrong with it. 
“Well, you know, I made the bed this morning before we left, remember?”
“Oh, uh- yeah, I came back to- to take a nap,” he stuttered, not even looking at you. 
But it kept happening, a few more times.
Things started to change after that; he cancelled the plans you made for when he came back home, he suddenly was too busy every day and your presence might be a distraction for all the things he had to get done for the next race, he was so tired at night he didn’t have the energy for anything, and he even asked you to go back to sleep in your own apartment, claiming he just needed to sleep on his own to be comfortable, even though you were used to sleeping together.
Long story short, he was distant; he was never around anymore, and even when he was, you felt like you were missing him. He was just... different, and you were beating herself up wondering what had changed.
He, on the other hand, didn’t miss you, seeing he didn’t make an effort anymore and he could go days without answering a text or returning a call, ​​and it was not because you took a long time to reply; you would always respond in a heartbeat if it was him. If it weren’t for all the times you visited him at his apartment when a news outlet brought up that he was back in Monaco to make sure he was doing okay, you wouldn’t talk to each other at all.
But today you were feeling hopeful. It was your anniversary, and you had a date night planned — a date he didn’t cancel, so you took the entire afternoon to do your nails, your hair, and pick a beautiful dress to wear, his favourite dress. Your makeup took a while, but you still managed to be ready on time for the wonderful night you had ahead, so you made your way to him, your palms sweating when you knocked on the door.
“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Was the first thing he asked, wiping her smile off of her face.
“I thought we would go out tonight,” you replied, looking down at your hands to hide your clear disappointment.
“Oh- I guess I forgot to tell you but I remembered I have an important meeting tomorrow morning, so I’m not gonna make it." The door was barely open, and he was standing where the crack was, blocking his apartment as he held the door with a strong grip.
“Okay,” your voice was so faint you barely heard it yourself. “Do you need anything? I could stay here for a couple of hours.”
“No, don’t worry about it. I think it’s better if you leave.”
Tears pricked your eyes, swallowing the small lump forming in your throat. “Why?”
“Well, I’m busy with a few things. You know, I have a really early day tomorrow, and you can’t really help me with a McLaren meeting, can you?”
You shook your head slowly “I guess I’m leaving then.”
The tears you had been holding started to fall as soon as you turned around; you could feel your mascara clumping on your eyelashes and forming black streaks down your cheeks, ruining the contour and highlight you applied in hopes of impressing your boyfriend. You ran back to your car and let it all out once you closed the door. You really thought things would be different tonight, but you were wrong.
You started driving to your best friend’s house, desperate to vent about how terrible your relationship was going since you had been keeping a secret from everyone; the last thing you needed was the media to get in the middle of this. 
“Oh my god, Y/N. Are you okay?” Mia asked you when she saw the mascara tears.
You shook your head as you stepped inside, small whimpers leaving your lips as you tried to stop the crying.
“What happened?” She took your hand and guided you to the couch.
“Lando.” 
“What about Lando?”
“I think he’s cheating on me." You had never said that out loud, and saying it broke your heart even more. “I wish I was crazy, but the signs... I know he is.”
“I’m not trying to defend him or anything, but what makes you think that?”
“Everything, Mia. He has been acting so... distant. Ever since-” You stopped yourself. You never told anyone your relationship with Lando wasn’t doing so well, making up excuses to cover his. You just wanted to hold on to everyone else’s idea of you two, thinking you were the perfect couple.
“What? Have you guys been fighting?”
You took a deep breath before saying, “Remember the last time I stayed over at his apartment?” She nodded in response, “Well, later that day I went back to surprise him with lunch, but he wasn’t there and the bed was a complete mess, and you know I always make the bed when I wake up. He said he went back to take a nap, but he was supposed to be with Carlos all morning, and it didn’t make sense he had time to come back, take a nap, and then leave again, so I asked Carlos, and they didn’t meet at all that day. Is that insane?”
"No, Y/N, of course not.” Mia didn’t know what to say; she wanted to comfort you but she didn’t know how. “And he’s been acting weird since then?”
You nodded, wiping your tears away. “Yeah, he’s been pushing me away since that day. Telling me he doesn’t have time because he’s so busy with the season, which I understand, but not even answering a couple of texts? And cancelling every date we had planned?”
“Is that what happened today? I thought it was your anniversary.”
“It is.” You were nibbling on your lip profusely, looking up so tears would stop falling. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”
“Have you told him how you feel?” You shook your head again; you hated confrontation, and you were hoping you didn’t have to do that. “I think you should go talk to him.”
“Right now?”
“If not now, then when? You say you’ve been feeling like something’s off for a while, but you haven’t said anything to him.”
“I don’t know Mia-”
“If he is cheating on you then you need to break up with him, you don’t deserve to be in that situation, and you deserve to know the truth.”
You inhaled as you considered what Mia just said. She was right, but to be completely honest, you weren’t ready yet. “I really want to know, but I can't.”
“Why not?”
“Because what if he is?” Tears started rolling down your face again, Mia hugging you tight as soon as it happened. “I love him, and... I just want things to go back to normal.”
“I know you do, but believe me, it’s better if you know.”
You stayed there for a while, but ultimately decided to go talk to him, but you needed to put yourself back together before confronting him. Mia helped you to wash your face and fix your hair, comforting you and offering to stay with you once the two of you were done talking. You accepted; you didn’t want to be alone, and Anne, your flatmate, had been going out of town a lot recently, so your apartment was empty, and you knew it’d be a long night.
Once you felt better and ready to talk to him, Mia drove you to his place as you repeated in your head everything you wanted to tell him. You knocked loudly and didn’t stop until he opened. He looked annoyed, and you stormed inside as soon as he opened the door.
“What are you doing?”
“We need to talk.”
“About what?” 
You blinked at him twice. Did he not think you needed to talk? “About us, Lando. What’s going on?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Okay, now you were mad. “Lando, you have been ignoring me for days, and I understand if you’re busy, but it doesn’t explain you pushing me away at all times.”
“I’m sorry if you feel that way.”
There was a moment of silence, both of you staring at each other as you tried to remember the questions you were supposed to ask, but none of them seemed to make sense now that you were standing in front of him “That’s all you’re gonna say?”
“What do you want me to say?” 
“How about you tell me exactly what’s going on?”
You were both raising your voices, but Lando especially. “I told you already, I’ve been busy with the season-”
“I could’ve stayed here with you or gone with you to races if that meant spending more time together, like we have done before.”
“But why would you want to do that?”
“To keep you company, maybe?” 
“But all you do is stand around while I do my job.”
“Lando, do you know how many weeks I’ve spent away from home just so we can be together? And you don’t even care anymore, you didn’t even care to say thank you.”
“I never asked you to come,” he mumbled.
You scoffed before shaking your head. “I wanted to, you know I worry about you when you stress yourself out about a race, you tend to overwork yourself-”
“I. Never. Asked. You. To. Come." He interrupted you, his tone punctuated with each word. “I would’ve been fine without you, I don’t need you in my hair at all times." His eyes hardened, his mouth opening to speak again. “Don’t you have better things to do?”
“I just- I’m your girlfriend, I guess I thought you liked to be with me.”
“I do, but you don’t have to be so clingy all the time.”
You didn’t say anything, hoping you heard it wrong or that he’d apologise, but he didn't. “What?”
“You know, we do everything together and-”
“No, we used to do things together, not everything." You corrected him.
He took a deep breath, as if he was done dealing with you. “Right. Look, I’m tired, we can talk tomorrow.”
You nodded, holding back the tears as you walked towards the door. “Happy anniversary,” you said before slamming it closed and running back to Mia’s car.
Lando sat on his couch with his head between his hands for a moment. How could he forget? He took a deep breath as he got up, looking for a ribbon and a gift he bought for you who knows how long ago.
He made his way to Mia’s flat; he assumed you would be there, and your car parked outside confirmed his suspicions, so he knocked on the door a couple of times before saying, “Baby, I’m sorry. I was caught up in all the things I have to do before leaving, and I didn’t realise what day it was." But he got no response. “Y/N please, I know you’re here. Will you please talk to me?”
“Go away, Lando.” Mia was the one to yell, making Lando realise he would not be able to fix it, not tonight anyway. 
“Okay, I’m leaving this here. I- I love you.”
You called in sick for your job the next day, your sore eyes and pounding headache being the only things you could think about. Well, that and Lando.
You were staring at the gift he bought for your one-year anniversary — what you were supposed to celebrate the day before. It was beautiful, and you couldn’t believe he remembered you mentioning it on one of your first dates ever, but it was the letter inside that broke your heart. It looked... unfinished, like he didn’t even care enough to give it a proper ending, so you were wondering how long ago he stopped working on it.
The days after that were rough, long nights of wondering what you could have possibly done wrong, but even then you didn’t talk to him. He tried to, a couple of times, but you needed a little bit of time.
A couple of weeks went by, and you found yourself alone at your apartment, catching up on the work you missed for calling in sick so many times.
It was your birthday, and Mia insisted a million times you go out and celebrate, clear your head, and forget about Lando once in for all, but somehow it felt wrong; you had made plans with Lando a few months back to bring your family to a race so they could finally meet him, but obviously that wasn’t happening anymore, so what was the point of celebrating? You just needed to focus and get things done anyway.
You were thankful that Mia had been for you through it all; you really were, but sometimes crying alone did more for you than having someone tell you ‘everything's gonna be okay.' You were tired of hearing that.
Hours later, you found yourself with a cup of coffee to finally catch up on the last project. It wasn’t really that much of a workload, and you didn’t need to stay up all night to do that, but you were going to anyway. Perhaps you just wanted to be productive, or maybe that was you trying to occupy your mind from the possibility of your boyfriend cheating on you.
You looked at the clock; it was 11:30 PM. You sighed, typing away whatever you were supposed to on your laptop, your eyes sore from staring at it for too long, when a text message interrupted you.
Unknown [Attachment: 1 photo]
Unknown: I heard they have been at it for a while.
That text message induced such a great shock on your tired, worn-out body, tears falling down your face as soon as you read it. You didn’t want to open it as you were sure of what this was about, but your curiosity got the best of you.
Tapping on the notification, you prepared yourself mentally to confirm your terrible suspicions. And they were confirmed.
Your vision was blurry from the tears, but you were able to see Lando standing next to his new Ferrari, and he was with someone else, except you couldn’t see who it was, the big jacket and a beanie protecting her identity. He was smiling down at her, eyes full of... love? Those green eyes you thought he reserved for you only, but clearly you were wrong. His big hands were around her waist as hers went around his neck, and his lips were stained with lipstick.
You broke down crying, curled up on your bed as you wore one of Lando’s hoodies that still smelt like him. You now knew what the truth was, but you didn’t want to accept it. What happened to you two? When did he stop loving you?
It was like your heart was ripped from your chest; all that time you spent together down the drain like it was nothing, like it all meant nothing to him.
You didn’t know for how long you cried the night before, but it was now 1 PM and you were just waking up, so you probably cried for hours. There was nothing left you could do to save your relationship, so you made up your mind to break up with him as soon as he came back from the American triple header.
Y/N: We need to talk, just let me know when you’re here.
The message was left unanswered, as usual. You rolled your eyes and put your phone down, returning to your video call with Mia.
“Do you know who that is?”
“No, sorry.” 
You sighed as you sipped your hot coffee “What about the number? Do you know who sent the picture?”
“What’s the number? Maybe I can ask around to see if any of my friends know.”
You sent her the phone number, along with the picture of Lando and the other girl. “Thanks. Don’t show anyone that picture thought. I’m already embarrassed as it is.”
“Embarrassed? Y/N, he should be the embarrassed one, you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Maybe I did-”
“No, stop doing that to yourself. We both know it’s not your fault.”
You nodded. “I can’t help it. I just don’t understand.”
“Understand what?”
“Was I not enough? Why did he need to find someone else?”
Mia hated to see you going through that, how you felt like you were not enough or that it all ended because of you, and she hated Lando for causing all of that. “I know it’s hard right now, but I promise you’ll understand that none of this is your fault. Y/N you’re amazing, and he’s an idiot for not realising.”
Talking to her made you feel better, but all those terrible emotions came back whenever you looked at the picture again, a million questions invading your mind. How long has he been doing this? Who is she? Does he still love you? What did you do wrong?
A couple of days later, Lando finally replied to your text.
Lando: Just got back. I’m in my apartment
Your heart sank at the notification; you didn’t want to talk to him; you didn’t want things to be over. There was still a part of you that hoped everything was just a misunderstanding, hoping he wasn’t cheating on you and she was just a friend. But deep down you knew the truth, and the possibility of it being a mix-up was down to zero, and after he made it clear that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore, you decided to fulfil his wishes.
It was a long drive to his home; it felt longer than usual, but maybe you were just dreading the conversation you knew was about to happen.
You took a deep breath before knocking on the door, Lando opening it almost right away.
"Hey,” he said faintly, worried he got caught.
“Hi.” You entered the apartment you once thought you would move into and looked around. You had been there a million times, and so many of those times were special little moments you shared together, but right now it felt like you were disconnected from the space. “How was the triple header?”
“Not great- I don’t know. It was messy, I guess." He tried to give you a smile but stopped himself when he noticed your stare full of fury. “What did you want to talk about?”
Seriously? “I’m breaking up with you." Your voice was weak, but you did not dare let a tear slip past your waterline; he didn’t deserve to see you cry. 
“What?” The shock in his eyes looked so real that you almost believed him “Why?”
“Did you really just ask that?”
“So that’s it? We’re over?”
“Lando, come on, we’ve been over for a while." You stepped closer to him, pain and anger written all over your face as the tears struggled to stay on your eyes. “We didn’t even feel like a couple anymore. Lando, you forgot our anniversary, and that day you made it clear you wanted nothing to do with me. And to think I planned a beautiful night for us and bought you a great gift. Do you have any idea how stupid I felt?” 
“I didn’t know you were feeling like that.”
“Of course not, when have you ever listened to me anyway?”
Lando rolled his eyes “Okay, I understand, but we don’t have to break up, I already explained what happened that day, I was busy and completely lost track of time.”
“And I guess she doesn’t have anything to do with this?” You showed him the picture, his demeanour changing immediately.
“Y/N, I- I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry." His eyes and his voice softened as he tried to reach for you, but you turned around and wiped the tears that managed to leave your eyes, a million questions flooding your mind again.
“So it’s true." You were just confirming to yourself what you already knew. Anger and pain washed over your body. Why her? Why her when you’ve been nothing but perfect to the man you loved the most?
“Baby, I can explain.” 
You turned around to face him again “Who is she?” He shook his head, his eyes begging you not to make him say it while yours watered, “Who is she?” You repeated.
“You don’t wanna know.”
“Why? Cause I might find out you’re cheating?”
A few tears started to roll down his face, his hands desperate to hold yours. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Cause you’re gonna hate me even more." You stared at him, even more tears falling as you tried to think who the girl could be. 
“Did you two- did you sleep with her?” His nod was barely perceptible; if you didn’t already know the answer, you would’ve missed it. Maybe he was right; maybe it’d be better if you didn’t know. 
“I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry.”
“Stop it.”
“I know I fucked up, but she doesn’t mean anything to me, I swear.”
“Shut up, Lando. I just… I don’t understand.”
“Let me explain-”
“And I don’t care how many times you apologise, how do you expect me to forgive you?” You took a couple of steps back, trying to figure out what caused him to do such a thing. “Even if we stayed together and got married and started a family, how can I ever look at you and not think about that?”
"Baby, I want all of that, I want the rest of my life with you, like we talked.”
“That was before you ruined everything.”
“I know what i did is wrong-”
“Wrong?”
“But we can work this out.”
“What? No, Lando, stop.”
“Just give me another chance, please.”
“Is that why you've been so distant, huh? Was she here on our anniversary?” Lando didn’t say anything, and the flashes from Lnado’s knuckles turning white from holding the door closed that night creeped your mind. Your heart ached so much that every time you breathed deeply, it was scorching you to the core “How could you do that?”
“I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologising.”
“You know I didn’t mean it.”
“Just stop… god.”
“Y/N just hear me out, I swear it only happened once.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? I know that’s not true. Do you know how many times I came to an unmade bed? And how many excuses you made?” He stayed silent. “I don’t care how many times it happened, you still did it and nothing is gonna change that.”
“I know.”
“You’ve been hurt before, right? What if I was the one cheating? Would you just forget it ever happened and come back to me?” Once again, he didn’t say anything. “No. Of course you wouldn’t. Lando, how could I ever forget what you did? Or everything you said to me when we were fighting, and the fact that you lied and- and cheated-”
“But you came all the way here.”
“Because I care, and you... you never cared, you never tried-”
“I care, I care so much. Baby, please, you have to believe me." He tried to reach out to you, but you pushed his hand away.
"No, you don’t, and if I’m here, it’s because I know after this we’ll never see each other again, we’ll never talk again and this just has to end.”
“But I don’t want it to end.”
“Well, you ended it when you cheated on me.”
He stared at you for a moment before continuing. “But… I want you, she didn’t mean anything to  me." He approached you again, his hope growing a little when you didn’t stop him. He put a strand of hair behind your ear, softly brushing your cheek. “I know I fucked up but I can’t go on without you, I just can't.”
“Well you have, countless times while I was left in the dark wondering if I had done something wrong, crying myself to sleep when I couldn’t get a hold of you, Lando, and in the meantime you were with her.”
“I’m sorry-”
“And you have the nerve to say all that shit to me, acting like I was suffocating you when in reality I was trying to save us!” You pushed him away.
“I’m so sorry.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Y/N, I’m sorry, please let’s talk about it.”
“Fine, let’s talk about it. Was she worth it?” He shook his head, ready to leave his pride behind as he kneeled in front of you and grabbed one of your hands. “What are you doing? Stop.”
“I promise it was an accident, it won’t happen again.”
“An accident? Lando, are you hearing yourself right now?”
“Please, don’t let me go." The grip on your hand tightened, pulling you closer to him.
“Isn’t that what you wanted?” 
“No. I don’t want anyone else, I want you, Y/N”
“You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”
“But everything I said... I meant it, I love you Y/N and every second we’ve been together has meant everything to me. Baby, you have to understand.”
“Liar.”
“I’m not lying, you know I’m not." You pushed his hand away, rolling your eyes when another tear rolled down his face. “I know I don’t deserve it but please... just one more chance and I can fix this.”
“Give you a chance? I gave you a chance when I believed your excuses, when I forgave you for cancelling every date we had planned, when I tried to understand why you locked me out, and when I almost forgave you for forgetting our anniversary, I gave you so many fucking chances!”
“But I swear it wasn’t like that, she meant nothing.”
“You’re unbelievable… god, what are you saying?”
“Just think about how great we are together,” he said, trying to hold your torso, but once again you stopped him. 
“Lando, stop that.”
“We’re a great team, aren’t we? We understand each other so well, we know each other better than anyone else, god, I’ll do anything, I swear.”
“No, it’s not gonna work.”
“Yes it will, and I’ll make sure of that.”
“No.” You were having a hard time blocking out how much love you still had for him, but you weren’t forgiving him; there was no way.
“I swear I don’t want anyone else." He held your hands and started kissing them, his lips giving you a sense of home that you missed. "Y/N, please, I love you.” 
You nodded weakly as you started crying again.
“You know I love you and I would do anything for you." He continued kissing you, a few tears falling on your hands. “Do you still love me?”
“I love you... Lan-” You released one of your hands from his grip, squeezing your eyes shut and covering your face.
“See? It will work, we will make it work." You shook your head; you were feeling stupid for almost falling for that. "Baby, look at me, it’s going to be okay, I promise.”
A moment of silence fell into the room as you collected your thoughts again, and he just looked at you hopeful that he could get you back. “Who is she?” You dared to repeat the question as you looked at him again.
He didn’t say anything for a few seconds, his voice barely above a whisper when he finally answered. "Annie.”
Annie, your flatmate Annie. She had never met Lando before you, and she wasn’t interested in who he was when you first told her you started dating him, so you were the reason they knew each other for all those times he picked you up from your place, and even then you never considered them to be friends; they barely exchanged any words when they ran into each other. You felt betrayed on a whole new level, not only by Lando but by her too. You had lived with her for so long, literally since the day you moved to Monaco, so you thought of her as one of your closest friends; how could she do that? And these past weeks, when she had been mourning your relationship with Lando, she was there the whole time, and she knew exactly what was happening.
“How long?”
You were getting annoyed at how long it was taking him to answer your simple questions. “The day we went to meet my parents... I drove to your apartment to pick you up, but you weren’t there yet.”
“So you did it at my place?” It wasn’t really a question, and you felt even more disgusted at the thought of them in your own home.
“It was one moment of weakness.”
“One moment of weakness?” He nodded, his hands now holding on to your hips. “But it didn't stop there, did it?”
“I’m sorry.”
You swiped the tears away as you prepared to ask the question you had been asking yourself for weeks. “What does she give you that I can't?”
Lando shook his head quickly. “Nothing, you’re everything I could ever ask for.”
“Then why did you do that?”
He didn’t have an answer; he didn’t really know how it happened or why it kept going, but he couldn’t deny he was enjoying it before he got caught. “I don’t know." He whispered.
“Do you love her?”
“No, of course not. I love you." He was holding you tighter, convinced that if he held you long enough, you would want to stay.
“Oh my god, I’m so stupid.”
“You know it didn’t mean anything, it was a mistake-”
“Get your hands off me, I’m leaving,” you said as you tried to free yourself.
“Baby, please don’t leave, you have to hear me out.”
“Lando, let go. I don’t wanna be here." Your words struggled to come out from how much you were crying. 
“Please don’t, I don’t wanna let you go." He looked up at you, his eyes begging for forgiveness. “Let’s just talk about it, yeah? Let me explain.”
“Save it, Lando, it’s over.” 
“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again. This is obviously my fault, so I’ll do whatever it takes to get you to stay, just please, one more chance is all I’m asking for.” You finally freed yourself, and your only goal was to go back to your apartment and cry all your pain away. You turned around and headed to the door; his hand tried to come to stop you, but you flinched away. You couldn’t bear to hear another word from him. "Baby, please, I love you.”
You turned around to face him one last time, spotting Lando still on his knees in the middle of his living room. “So you’ve said, but how can you hurt someone you claim to love so much?” He was about to say something, but you didn’t wanna hear it. “There’s nothing you can do to get me to stay, you threw everything away.”
“I know, my love, but-”
“I’m gonna leave and you’re gonna stay here, just… leave me alone, I don’t ever wanna see you again.”
You exited the room, leaving Lando alone and a complete mess. He regretted what he did, and he wanted to think that if you would just give him a chance to explain himself, you’d forgive him. But he knew that would never be the case and that his mistake was bigger than any apology; you were right to leave him.
He stared at the door for too long, taking in every emotion he was feeling: remorse, anger, pain, agony... he just felt like life was being sucked out of his body because he ruined the most important part of it, and there’s no one to blame but himself.
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welcometohellfilm · 2 months ago
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Congrats to everyone who has been working on W2H2! 🎉 If it's alright, I'd like to ask to ask 2 questions:
Is there by chance an official ref of colors for Debbie, or is it still up to interpretation at the moment?
Would you say that your personal, real life experiences within the 10 years moving from W2H to W2H2 shifted the tone/story of the series in some way? Something that I've always been fascinated with when I started looking more into W2H was the shift in Sock's character from the original comic -> first film -> second film, and Jonathan's character from the first film -> second film.
Thank you! ✨
I actually just made some 'official'-ish colors for Debbie! Her voice actor Kaitlyn wanted something to use on a banner for conventions haha... so here you go!
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2. I'm not really sure how to answer this one, haha. I mean I've definitely changed as a person over the course of making each iteration of W2H. I started the comic while I was at community college, before I went to art school. I adapted it into an animation for my graduation project. And I started W2H2 a couple years after I graduated college. So there's a good 2-3 years between each attempt at W2H I've done, haha. I think a lot of my original ideas from the comic had to change because it needed to be condensed into a short film. I didn't even GET to Jonathan yet in the comic! Some things just didn't make sense to me anymore, like the idea of Sock already having a human body count. It'd just be absurd for him to be able to hide it for so long! Plus, if I made it so that Sock has only ever entertained the idea of murder, it makes his new job that much more appealing-- it's a chance for him to really lean in to this thing he's always had to hide. Between the first and second films though, I mean... I think there's been some tonal shift, for sure (I don't know about a character shift? We'll get to that haha) But basically, when I was first thinking about W2H2, my idea was "Sock and Jonathan hang out and attempt to figure out touch physics, also there's some drama about a journal Jonathan keeps." All of the hell stuff is something that came from bouncing ideas around with my friends, Michael and Neil. I was worried that sending Jonathan to hell would be too bonkers for a "2nd episode", but we all kinda agreed that enough time had passed that the fans would probably enjoy something higher stakes, so it would be fine. (I'll give everyone a moment to realize this conversation would've been happening in 2015-16... ha.)
We also kind of thought, y'know... I have no idea how many more of these there's even gonna' be, so why not go a little bigger with this one? W2H2 is a higher stakes story than what I set out to make in the beginning, that's for sure. It is interesting to compare all of them.. the employee handbook was actually from the comic and I cut that because it wasn't helpful for W2H... but then it became helpful for W2H2, so it came back! Haha. I'm curious to know in what ways people think the characters have changed though. (And is that a good thing or a bad thing?) Especially a character like Jonathan, no one's really even seen that much of him yet, I think most of the characterization comes from fandom, or like... art I've drawn, I guess? Haha... I'm not sure! I guess Sock's a little more confident and antagonistic in this one (though he'll have his moments of hesitation... we're only at Part 1 right now!), and Jonathan has had to become a more vocal/active character, just by nature of the kind of story it is, I suppose. But yeah, I'm not sure! Happy to hear your guys' thoughts though!
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saveyourblood · 3 months ago
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Pretty Boy - Ch 1 (Evan Buckley x Reader) (Eventual Evan Buckley x Eddie Diaz x Reader)
Summary: You can feel Buck staring. When your eyes meet his, you realize he’s staring at your hand, which is still on Eddie’s knee. You slowly retreat, which makes Buck turn his attention to your face. You smile softly. He just looks out the window. The one where you're an advanced paramedic, Buck and Eddie are firefighters, and you think you might be in love with both of them. Originally posted to AO3
Chapter Summary: Your new(ish) co-worker has a special talent: getting on your nerves.
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A/N: This is such a niche story and I am desperate for validation, please tell me if you enjoyed reading! Word Count: 3.5k Warnings: Swearing (if that even counts).
You’re ending the first half of your 24-hour shift the same way you always do—dinner with the team. Well, at least that’s how you try to end the first half of your shift. Of course, that’s also assuming that both the fire and medical teams are actually at the station and not on a call.
All things considered, this probably only happens once a week, if that.
When it works out, though, it’s a good time. You already spend a lot of time in the rig with Hen and Chim, being an advanced paramedic and all. When it comes to the firefighters, though, you aren’t as well-versed, so it’s nice to have a weekly ‘getting to know you’ session. It seems like these days, it’s a 50/50 shot if they’ll make it to next week's dinner.
The firefighting crew at the 118 is a revolving door of macho men. When you first started, it was Chim, Tommy, and Sal. Chim became a paramedic, so he didn’t exactly ‘leave.’ Sal got relieved of duty, so he didn’t really have a choice. Tommy left, but for something better. Maybe it isn’t so much the job that makes people leave; maybe being a firefighter at the 118 is a stepping stone for bigger and better things.
There is one firefighter that, if he left, you wouldn’t be heartbroken. In fact, it would probably make your shifts a whole lot better.
Evan Buckley, aka ‘Buck.’ God, even thinking his name makes you want to gag a little.
He’s a decent kid, but he’s just that: a kid. He’s a Probie; he’s only been on the job for about 4 months, and no one would assume otherwise. His heart is in the right place, but his brain hasn’t caught up yet. You’re starting to fear it never will.
“I know exactly what that polite, distant smile means: she’s bored,” Chim says as he leans over the counter, pulling you right out of your thoughts and back into reality. “This woman is so far out of my league, but she’s once-in-a-lifetime… I can’t let her go.”
“Lots of fish in the sea,” Bobby, your captain, chimes in. He leans over to pull something out of the oven.
“Not with the bait he’s using,” Hen remarks as she walks by. Her arms are full of dishes to set the table with.
“Amen, sister,” you agree, hot on her heels. She gives you a small smile and hands you the plates, which you accept with a smile of your own.
“Cruel, but true,” Chim sighs. “I met her on this new dating site, just for cops and firefighters, RomancingTheUniform.com. She’s an adrenaline junkie, so foreplay is me telling her stories about running into burning buildings and jumping into icy lakes and…”
“I’m sorry, wait,” Hen interrupts, “remind me: when was the last time you ran into or jumped over anything?”
“...I embellish a little.”
“Oh, noted.”
“So is she a cop or a firefighter?” You ask.
Chim gives you a look. “Why would she be?”
“Well, you said the website is for cops and firefighters,” you repeat. “Doesn’t that make her a cop or a firefighter?”
“Okay, it’s not just cops and firefighters,” Chim cedes, “it’s also for people that want to date cops and firefighters.”
“Ohhh,” you smile, “so cops, firefighters, and badge bunnies. What could possibly go wrong?”
“I’m telling you, the uniform is a major aphrodisiac,” Chim continues as he brings a salad to the table.
“Yeah, hence the term ‘badge bunny,’” you remark.
The conversation is interrupted by one of the engines backing into the station. You probably should have noticed it was gone, but frankly, as long as your rig is in the bay safe and sound, you don’t care what the meatheads are up to.
Speaking of meatheads…
“Oh good, PB is back,” you remark sarcastically.
‘PB’, aka ‘pretty boy,’ aka Buck. You started calling him Pretty Boy his first day, and over the months, you shortened it. He jogs his way up the stairs and dips a finger in the communal spaghetti bowl. You roll your eyes and take a sip of your coffee.
“Wash your hands!” Hen scolds as she pulls the bowl out of his reach.
“What if there’d been a call?” Bobby asks as he brings the last dishes to the table.
“I was in the neighborhood!” Buck defends himself. He takes one of the plates from Bobby’s grasp, but instead of passing it around like a normal person, he starts eating the food off the plate with his dirty hands. Sometimes, you wondered if he was raised by a pack of stray dogs.
Bobby starts lecturing Buck, and you smirk with a little satisfaction. Bobby’s going to write him up, and truthfully? It’s a long time coming.
“First infraction, two more, and you’re out,” Bobby says as he steals back the plate. “Wash your hands.”
“You know, you're not helping him by going easy on him,” Chim says once Buck is out of earshot.
“He just needs a little direction,” Bobby replies.
“I’ll remind you of that when he gets us killed,” you mumble.
The alarm bells start to sound through the station. Everyone groans, including yourself. So much for dinner.
Chim decided to catch a ride with the boys in the truck, so that leaves you and Hen in the rig.
“I’m sorry, dispatch,” you say into the radio, “118 RA responding: did you say the baby is in the wall?”
“10-4, 118,” the dispatcher responds. “Caller reports hearing a baby crying in his walls.”
“Copy that, 118 RA clear,” you say before hanging the radio back up. “Well, this will be fun.”
“You think you can play nice with Buck?” Hen asks, a smirk on her face.
“Hey, I’m always nice,” you reply.
“Not to him!” She laughs. “Don’t think I didn’t see you roll your eyes the second he got back to the station.”
“I can play nice and still think he’s a raging idiot,” you defend. “Besides, since when are you his biggest fan?”
“Trust me, I’m not,” Hen chuckles. “And I love you, but you don’t know how to play nice.”
“Why be the bigger person when you can be the bigger problem?”
That remark gets a full belly laugh out of Hen. “Yeah, that sounds like you.”
Hen parks the rig behind the engine in front. The boys come pouring out immediately, grabbing various tools and equipment. You make your way to the back of the ambulance, tossing Hen her med bag before picking up your own.
You follow the rest of the crew upstairs, and before you know it, the five of you are standing in some random guy’s apartment, listening for something that probably isn’t real.
“Look, I'm telling you, I heard a baby crying,” the man says. “Someone flushed a baby down the toilet.”
Hen picks up a bong off the counter and gives the man a look.
“I’m not high.”
You both raise your eyebrows.
“Okay, I’m pretty high, but it’s Sativa,” he says. “It makes you happy. It doesn’t make you hallucinate.”
“It could’ve been a rat,” Chim shrugs. “Sometimes rats get stuck in the walls.”
You frown. At the end of his sentence, you swore you heard a cooing sound.
“Shh,” you say to everyone, walking over to the bathroom. “Did you guys hear that?”
They're hot on your heels, watching as you take your stethoscope from around your neck and put it into your ears. You place the bell on the wall and wait. When you hear nothing, you begin rapping your knuckles on the tile until you do. Once again, it’s a faint cooing sound, not unlike a baby.
You then knock your knuckles on the wall until you hear a hollow sound. You take a marker from your pants pocket and mark an ‘x’ over it, knowing the space behind it is hollow. You take the stethoscope out from your ears.
“We need to open up this wall,” you say, pointing to the ‘x.’
“No, we’re being punked,” Chim disagrees. “It’s a tape recorder or something.”
“Maybe not,” Hen says, stepping forward. “Maybe a mother gives birth on the toilet and flushes it.”
“Okay, first of all, that's awful,” Chim says. “Second, do you know how pipes work?”
“If the baby is premature, its bones can bend and compress like sponges,” Bobby mentions. “We need to get in there.”
“Stand back, I got this!” Buck says, swinging his fire axe over his shoulder.
He runs up towards the wall with full intentions of swinging. Hen and Chim move out of the way and shout while Bobby tries to grab him. Ultimately, you’re the one to stop him, and you do it by placing both hands on the axe.
“Hey! Did you even stop to consider that you might hit a baby?!” You shout, adrenaline pumping through your bloodstream.
Buck just stares at you with wide eyes.
“Yeah, didn’t think so,” you spat, pushing the axe out of the way.
“Buck, go get the saw,” Bobby directs.
“Try to find some common sense while you’re down there,” you call after Buck as he walks out.
“Nice catch,” Bobby says, looking at you.
“How nice of me to save the baby from one of the LAFD’s finest first responders,” you reply bitterly.
You can’t help but look at Hen, who quickly looks away. Her avoidance gives you a small sense of victory because this? This shit right here? This is why you can’t play nice with Buck. His head is screwed on backward, and it can get people killed. Playing nice isn’t going to fix that.
Thankfully, Bobby takes the saw from Buck once he brings it up. He makes a few small cuts in the wall before he and the other boys are pulling at the drywall. They quickly expose a massive pipe running behind the toilet.
“That thing is huge,” you remark to Hen.
“It probably connects a bunch of the toilets in the units above this one,” Hen returned.
“So… even with the water turned off…” you start, a sense of dread filling your stomach.
“If someone above us flushes the toilet, it could drown the baby,” Hen finishes. Almost before she finishes the sentence, she’s running into the hall, yelling for people not to flush their toilets. The boys make a few cuts into the pipe, and in no time, they’re taking it to the floor.
“Guys, I can see the head,” you say, joining them on the floor.
They make a few more cuts until the pipe is one straight segment.
“Get the head out,” Chim instructs.
“Yeah, you gotta push from below,” Buck chimes in.
You try that, but the baby isn’t moving. You look to the corner, then at Buck.
“Bring me the defibrillator,” you instruct clearly.
Buck scrambles over, picking up the case.
“Just the lube, Buck,” you rephrase, but he’s already coming back with the whole thing.
“Take it, take it,” Buck says, passing it off to you.
You let out a frustrated sigh before grabbing the lube out and tossing the rest of it to the side. You pour some lube on the baby’s head, then down by its feet.
“Work that in,” you tell Chim.
You move your index finger around the circumference of the pipe, brushing the baby’s legs with lubricant as you do so. Then, you gently apply pressure to its feet, and slowly, you can feel it move forward.
“This is gonna be a scoop and run,” you mumble.
“Hen, get the ambulance ready,” Bobby tells her. You’re not sure when she got back, but when you look up again, she’s gone again.
Slowly, the baby’s head emerges from the pipe, and the rest of her body follows.
“She’s not breathing,” you quickly note, “starting CPR.”
You place your index and middle finger in the center of the baby’s chest and press down fast and hard. “Looks like her airway’s obstructed.”
“Buck, get the bulb syringe,” Chim demands. A few seconds pass. “Buck, come on!”
“I’m coming!” Buck barks back, clearly in a panic.
“Come on, pretty girl,” you say quietly as you continue compressions. “Come on, sweetheart.”
Buck returns with the bulb syringe and uses it, but it doesn’t help.
“Dammit,” you curse. “You’ll have to try a blind finger sweep.”
Buck looks at you, then Chimney, then the baby, then back at you. “Me?”
“You gotta learn somehow,” you remark. “It’s easy: just turn her head to the side, curl your pinkie, and see if you can scoop anything out.”
Buck is hesitant initially, but he eventually does as you tell him. It takes a few seconds, but he manages to clear the obstruction, and the baby begins crying. Everyone laughs with relief.
“Let’s get her wrapped up,” you say, reaching for a towel.
The four of you rush down the hall, you with the baby in your arms. The pit in your stomach returns.
“No one held the elevator?!” you yell.
“Dammit,” Chim curses.
“Give her to me,” Buck says, nodding to the stairs.
You stare at him.
“Come on, I’m twice as fast,” Buck pleads.
“Screw this up, and I’ll kill you,” you threaten before carefully handing her over.
Buck takes off down the stairs, but you follow after. There’s only so much that can happen in a few flights of stairs, but you aren’t willing to risk it.
“I got you,” Buck says to the baby, “you’ll be okay.”
A faint smile crosses your face. Maybe Buck isn’t so terrible after all.
“Come on, move it!” Buck shouts as you both make it out of the lobby and out to the rig.
You climb into the ambulance with him, but before either of you can even sit down, you hear someone yelling to wait. It’s not just anyone: it’s LAPD Sergeant Grant, or as you’ve heard Hen calls her, Athena.
“Wait, is that the mother?” Buck says, looking at the young woman with blood-stained pants in someone’s arms. “Yo, screw her! Look what she did!”
Never mind. Buck is still terrible.
“Sit down and shut up!” You yell at Buck. “This is not your call! She is a child, and she’s bleeding out!”
“Look what she did!” Buck repeated.
“Come on, let’s get her up here,” you say to Athena and the man carrying the young girl, disregarding Buck’s protests.
Bobby and Chim made it down, so they help haul the young girl up into the rig. Chim stays at the head while Bobby sits next to Buck, the spot you were about to sit in mere moments ago.
“If this baby dies, it’s on you,” Buck says, staring at Athena.
“Stop talking, Evan,” you snap as someone closes the ambulance doors.
Using his actual name seems to shut him up.
“What’s your name, honey?” You ask the baby’s mother as you cut away her shirt to place EKG leads.
“Marika,” she whispers. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“I know you’re scared, Marika, but you just have to keep breathing for me, okay?” you say. “My friend Howie is going to start an IV so we can give you fluids and medication. You’re bleeding a lot, so I have to do what’s called a fundal exam, okay? I have to press on your stomach to make sure your uterus is contracting back down normally.”
She stares at you, eyes filled with tears, before eventually nodding.
Using one hand to stabilize over the pubis, you begin pressing down the other into Marika’s stomach, a few fingerbreadths below her belly button. She lets out a few whimpers. You don’t feel the fundus, or the top of the uterus, like you should.
“Marika, you’re bleeding a lot because your uterus isn’t contracting. I have to make it contract by doing a fundal massage. It won’t feel that good, but it could save your life.”
Once again, Marika looks at you before nodding. This time, she closes her eyes.
Using firm and consistent pressure, you push one hand down where the fundus should be and make small circles. Marika lets out a few more cries of pain. You notice that, after a few minutes, the bleeding starts to slow, and her uterus firms up beneath your hands.
“Hospital ETA 5 minutes, hang in,” Hen chimes in from the ambulance's cab.
“Something’s wrong,” Buck says, staring at the baby in his arms.
You quickly move over to him. “Put her in your lap so I can see.”
Buck listens, moving away the towel so you can look at the baby. She’s cyanosed around the lips. You flip open a compartment and pull out the neonatal ambu bag. You hand it to Bobby, and you don’t even have to tell him to start bagging.
“I’m so sorry,” Marika says. “Is she gonna be okay?”
Bobby squeezes the bag every other second, delivering a breath to the baby. Her color is starting to look better, but she isn’t very responsive.
“Here, let me try something,” you say.
You gently pick up the baby and set it on Marika’s bare chest. After a few moments, the baby begins to move and cry out.
“Oh my god, why did that work?” Marika asks, wrapping her hands around her baby.
“Skin-to-skin can help babies regulate bodily functions, like temperature and breathing,” you reply as you place a towel over them.
You look over to the men sitting next to you. Bobby gives you a nod, and Buck avoids eye contact, but you can tell that he’s pissed. Fuck him, he doesn’t know his head from his ass anyways.
Once the rig pulls into the ambulance bay, you and Chim help the ER staff get the gurney out of the ambulance. Bobby and Buck follow suit, only Buck tries to follow them into the hospital. Bobby stops him before he does.
Bobby gives Buck some lecture about how we did our jobs, and now it’s their turn; it’s the speech every overly excited first responder gets at least once at the start of their career.
A cop car pulls up, and Athena comes out. She clearly found the person she was looking for, because she starts yelling at Buck.
“You do not get to choose who lives and who dies,” she lectures.
“Really? Because I was under the impression that kind of was my job,” Buck retorts.
You could seriously slap him.
“That mother was no less of a child than her baby,” Athena continues yelling, pointing a finger at the hospital. “You’re gonna get someone killed.”
“Well, maybe, but not today,” Buck says with a cocky head tilt.
You laugh humorlessly. “You know what, Pretty Boy?” you say, turning to Buck.
Fuck it. Bobby won’t put him in his place, and Athena isn’t allowed to, so you take matters into your own hands, literally.
Before you even fully comprehend what you’re doing, you’re wrapping a hand around Buck’s throat and pushing him against the ambulance. You aren’t choking him, but you don’t move your hand because keeping it there is your only leverage.
“I’m getting real tired of this tough guy bullshit,” you growl, your face only an inch from his. He’s quite a bit taller than you, but when you bounced him off the rig, his footing faltered, so he’s crouched at your eye level. “You wanna get real, Evan? You didn’t do a goddamn thing today except get in the way. While we were busy saving lives, you were shitting your pants and dropping the ball, not exactly what a tough guy is supposed to do.”
“Okay, enough,” Bobby says, trying to break it up. You’re far from finished, though.
You move your hand from his neck, but only so you can point it in his face. “You aren’t a god — you don’t decide who lives! You didn’t even save a life today: we did, because you kept fucking up. And if you keep fucking up like you did today, you definitely will kill someone, and your little jokes and midday booty calls and your shitty little grin won’t change that!”
Bobby ends up physically pulling you away while Athena makes some room between the two of you.
“Aren’t you going to arrest her or something?” Buck says, rubbing his neck. “She assaulted me!”
“She didn’t say anything that wasn’t true,” Athena counters. “I promise you, Buckley, the next time you screw up? It’ll be your last.”
Athena casts Bobby a glance before she walks away.
“You,” Bobby says, looking at Buck, “in the truck. Now.”
You start to walk over to the passenger’s side of the cab when Bobby calls after you.
“I want you in my office the second we get back,” He orders.
You clench your jaw. “Yes Captain.”
Ch 2
279 notes · View notes
houserautha · 10 months ago
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These Destined Ends
Part 1
Summary: Jessica fulfilled the wishes of the Bene Gesserits to produce a daughter. You’re now burdened with the task of not only marrying the na-Baron, but also bearing his child — the Kwisatz Haderach. Will you take your fate into your own hands? Or will it always belong to those who control you?
Pairings: Feyd-Rautha x F!Reader
Word Count: 2.1k
Warnings: none for this chapter. Masterlist of warnings overarching the series
A/N: Hello! If you’re here then there’s probably something wrong with you too, so let’s be friends. I haven’t been able to write anything lately until I saw the latest Dune movie and then all of my thoughts became dedicated to Feyd-Rautha. I must get these thoughts out. Help. Me.
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“Chin up.”
Your mother brushes your hair back, bronze, like hers, and lifts your chin. Her gaze is critical. You stare back, thinking only of the things that she will find fault in you. An endless amount, you muse. The slightest flicker of expression on Lady Jessica’s face informs you that she suspects what you’re thinking. Your teeth grit.
“Must you do that?” You hiss through your painted lips. The servants have dressed you specially for the occasion. A floor-length black dress and, settled on your shoulders, a red cape clasped together with the House of Atreides insignia.
Jessica withdraws her hand. Your mother radiates femininity and power, a feat you’ve yet reached. Even the cool way in which she regards you drips with regality.
“Do what?” She asks, feigning innocence.
“Don’t make me say it.”
Jessica’s blue eyes harden. “You don’t have to, daughter. It’s plain enough.”
Mother and daughter stare at one another.
She tried to teach you the ways of the Bene Gesserits, but you failed to take to it. You were too expressive, too…volatile. You struggled to detect the slightest change in voice, you could never sit still long enough to study, and your facial features always betrayed you. The only aspect you succeeded in was combat — there was no need to mask your feelings, your thoughts, able to just completely lend yourself to the blade.
But it wasn’t enough.
“You’re fortunate the Reverend Mother has chosen to see through with this arrangement,” Jessica all but snarls. “There’s hope for you still, in form of an heir.”
The Kwisatz Haderach.
The only reason your mother still spoke to you, affords you any attention at all. The fact that you’ve been painstakingly bred to produce him: a Bene Gesserit of male origin, capable of accessing the memories of his ancestors and see through time and space itself.
A terrible mantle for an unborn child.
In the black of night, you sometimes lay your hand on your abdomen and utter apologies to the egg nestled in your ovary; burdened with horrible purpose. If only you could avoid its fate. But you were not even in control of your own.
“I want to stay here,” you plea finally, pitifully.
Jessica steps away from you, brushes off her skirt. “You know that you cannot.”
“I can help Father,” you insist. “You know that he worries about gaining the approval of the Fremen. I can —”
“Enough!” The Voice. It snaps your mouth shut and renders you mute. “This is bigger than both of us.” Jessica snatches your upper arm, pulls you close enough to feel the heat of her anger. “Your father wanted a son. A heir. But it was my duty to produce a daughter. I ignored the pleas of your father because I understand what it is to serve. Don’t make me regret my decision.”
You swallow your disgust, though it lingers like a foul taste on your tongue.
This isn’t the first time that your mother has told you this. Nor did you think it would be the last.
Perhaps making a home among your enemies would be better than staying here among family.
“Fine,” you say. You wrench your arm from her grasp then turn away. It’s futile, you know the heighliner will be here soon to whisk you away, but you can’t stand to be in the presence of your mother any longer. Fortunately she lets you go.
You’re not even aware of where your feet are taking you until the familiar sound of the baliset meets your ears. Gurney rests lazily on the ground in the massive corridor, back against the wall and string instrument in his scarred hands. He doesn’t look at you as you approach nor when you collapse down beside him.
Usually Gurney’s situationally appropriate songs bring you a modicum of comfort, but today it seems more ominous than insightful.
“I won’t miss your singing,” you say.
He stops playing. “You jest.”
Playfully, you crack open one eye and peer at his baffled expression. You try not to laugh. “I don’t.” A sigh escapes your mouth then, and you slump further down, uncaring if you rumple your gown. “I will, however, miss the singer.”
“Don’t bother appealing to an old man like me. It won’t get you anywhere.”
“Hm,” is all you say, lost in thought.
Gurney sets the baliset to the side. His hand finds your knee and he squeezes. “You will be fine, Lady Y/N. I’ve taught you well.”
“Not even what you’ve taught me will suffice for what I’m up against.”
“Nonsense.”
Both eyes open now, you stare pleadingly at the swordsmaster. “Just come with me. Please.”
It’s Gurney’s turn to sigh. With a groan he heaves himself to his feet and offers you a hand. “You know that I can’t,” he murmurs.
His loyalty to your father doesn’t extend to you.
He is Leto Atreides, Duke of Arrakis, after all. And you are just his daughter. A pawn. A womb and nothing more.
You reach out to ghost your fingers over the scar on Gurney’s cheek. “Tell me about them.”
The Harkonnens.
“There’s nothing you don’t already know or haven’t learned from the filmbooks,” Gurney says to you in a terribly soft voice. It’s unfitting of the great soldier. “They are a cruel people. Do not trust them.”
You nod, irrationally devastated that your final plea to Gurney did not work. But his words were not anything new.
Nothing you learned about the Harkonnens has been pleasant — from their oppressive rule and misogynistic society down to their industrialized homeworld. Your chest aches.
First you were forced to leave the lush beauty of Caladan for Arrakis. You had even grown admittedly fond of the desert planet, just to yet again be snatched from another home.
“Thank you, Gurney. For everything.”
He dips his chin in acknowledgment, then holds out his arm for you to take.
Gurney has been like a second father to you over the years. While Leto was out securing political alliances and holding meetings, it was Gurney who kept you company. He aided in your combat training and believed in you when no one else did. To lose him would be to lose a great friend, indeed.
By the time you return to the antechamber where you’d been, Leto has arrived. He looks as cunning and handsome as ever, and the smile he flashes you is enough to cut you to the bone.
If what Jessica said was true about your father wanting a son and being sorrowful he did not get one, you would never know. He has only ever made you feel loved.
“My beautiful daughter,” he greets you. He smells wonderful. The same way he did all of those years ago when he would tell you stories of your grandfather and tuck you into bed, his beard tickling your cheek.
You breathe him in for one of the last times. “Hello, father.”
“You look marvelous,” he says. His smile falters slightly. “Are you ready? I wanted to ensure that you’ve said your goodbyes before we leave.”
Bitterly, you think, Before I leave. Everyone else will return to Arrakis and you will be moored on Giedi Prime, married to a bloodthirsty monster and forced to grow round with his child.
The thought makes your knees tremble.
The Harkonnens controlled the fiefdom of Arrakis before your family and were unbelievably outraged that it, and the flow of spice, had been stolen from them. You couldn’t even begin to imagine what your reception on their planet will be like. It’s any luck if you don’t get slaughtered upon arrival.
Especially since the Baron’s nephew, the na-Baron Feyd-Rautha — your betrothed — was known for his brutal nature. You hoped stupidly that the arrangement of marriage and promise of an heir would be enough to keep you alive.
At least for awhile.
Feyd-Rautha killed his own mother. Who knew what the status of wife meant to him?
“I’m ready as I’ll ever be,” you answer Leto. He squeezes your hand.
You hug Gurney goodbye then board onto the heighliner after your parents. It’s difficult to suppress the tears threatening to fall as the ship takes off in a flurry of sand and departs.
Normally you’d be completely enraptured with the endless golden dunes, but today you stay rooted to your seat and refrain from crying.
The flight to Giedi Prime happens much too quickly for your liking. Already your heart is in your throat, hammering out your nerves in a steady rhythm.
The view from your seat reveals the strange nature of your new home — a black sun. Never again will you see the stretch of blue sky from Caladan or feel the formidable heat of Arrakis. The entire world outside the ship stood in sharp black and white contrast, all color drained from the surroundings and its people.
You spy hoards of Harkonnens gathering beyond the ship, awaiting the arrival of the na-Baron’s wife and their future Baroness.
Your stomach churns. How could you ever lead such ugly, wicked people?
Jessica’s voice engulfs you. “Chin up,” she says again to your dismay. “You mustn’t show any weakness. Not here.”
You raise your chin the slightest amount. Jessica nods stiffly in approval, and it’s in that moment you understand that your mother’s harshness has been preparing you for this. While you hardly feel the urge to forgive her, an odd sense of calm washes over you.
You are an Atreides. And you always will be.
No one can take that from you.
The boarding ramp disengages and you’re the first one to step onto it. A hush of silence befalls the crowds.
You stride forward with as much confidence as you can muster, focusing not on the leering eyes of the Harkonnens but instead on the Baron’s fortress. A large pathway separates you from it, granting you plenty of time to get your fill. It’s as grand as it is excessively boastful; tall, pointed towers cleverly connected, all sharp lines and edges. It leaves the impression of a finely crafted dagger.
A display of power and wealth.
Behind you your parents emerge and the carefully observant crowd launches into disarray — shouts and yells of anger, of hatred, grate your ears. You know that they take it in stride, however, and their strength fortifies your own.
By the time you’ve crossed the distance from the heighliner to the inner walls of the fortress, your eyes are blurried by the strong contrast outside now given away to darkness. It takes a few moments for you to adjust. When you do, you quickly look over your surroundings.
There’s few decorations or art. It’s cold and impersonal and extremely clinical.
Your slippered feet reverberate off the high ceilings.
Bracing yourself, seemingly, has been for no reason. For it’s not the Baron and his nephew that meet you but rather a line of Harkonnen soldiers. Their faces are stoic.
You bristle. “Where is the Baron? And my betrothed? Do they not wish to receive us?”
The soldiers do not answer.
A man appears then from down the hall, a Mentat by the look of him. He’s pale and bald and clad in black like the other Harkonnens.
“My apologies, Lady Y/N,” the Mentat says. “My name is Piter de Vries. I am here to escort you. The Baron and na-Baron will receive you now in the throne room.”
Leto lays a hand on your arm as if to stifle your response. “Please, Piter, lead the way.”
You can’t help but glance curiously at your father. This entire situation was delicate, you knew, but you wonder at his subservience. It’s an insult not to be immediately greeted by their hosts, especially when your guests happen to be the Duke of Arrakis, his concubine, and their daughter. If Leto agrees with this affront, though, he doesn’t show it.
Leto simply strides after Piter with you and your mother in pursuit.
The fortress boasts sleek walls and floors, polished to perfection. Piter guides you to the throne room a short distance away, the sight of it stealing the breath from your lungs. It’s larger than any room you’ve seen before, outfitted on the far side with steps leading up to a grand dais.
And upon the dais, demanding your attention, is Baron Vladimir Harkonnen. The man is as large as the throne room itself but not nearly as impressive, pale and beastly, his enormous weight supported by suspenders. He makes no movement as you enter.
Your gaze moves quickly, eagerly, away from him.
Standing on either side of the dais are his two nephews. Aware that you can’t stand to face your betrothed yet, you fix your attention on his brother. Rabban, you recall his name.
Rabban is bound with hard muscle and swathed in what you can only describe as thinly veiled anger. At his side, his fists clench and unclench restlessly.
Then, without permission, you look to your future husband.
Feyd-Rautha stands as tall as Rabban but roped instead with lean, attractive muscle. His brow sits above dark eyes and a generous mouth. There’s a frightening intensity to the way he stands, encapsulating both nonchalance and a dangerous arrogance. Clearly this man is used to getting his way and will stop at nothing to do so.
And it’s this man that makes no effort to disguise the way he studies you, starting at the top of your head and trickling languidly downward.
A chill dances down your spine.
When he catches this, catches you watching him — he must’ve known that you were — his lips twitch into the faintest of smirks.
Part 2
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jokeroutsubs · 3 months ago
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[📝ENG translation] 'My Parents Gave Me a Strong Sense of Identity'
An interview with Bojan Cvjetićanin.
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Original article written by Teja Roglič for Ona plus, published 05.11.2024. English translation by @kurooscoffee, review by @weolucbasu, proofread by IG Gboleyn123.
Full article and Spotify link under the cut 👇
🎧 Article available in audio form on Spotify.
Last year’s craze at Stožice, summer festival performances, the Eurovision Song Contest, international success. And then everyone asks, what could be bigger, what could be better? But as the band Joker Out releases their new album, they consciously follow the motto "I want less". Singer Bojan Cvjetićanin explains why: "This is our home, this is our base. If we don’t feel good at home, we can’t feel good anywhere. We need to rediscover love in our base, that’s what we told ourselves."
With the song Bluza, you’re returning to love. Why?
We went through a lot. The songs we released after Eurovision dealt with the most acute situational changes in our lives—touring, exhaustion, questioning ourselves. Now, it’s time to have a bit of fun again. And there's probably nothing more beautiful than being in love. (smiles)
I’ve been looking into people’s stories, into the lives of those around me, seeking beauty.
What did you discover?
That I enjoy writing about love the most. When you write from a place of uncertainty, it’s nice to get those feelings out; when you write about love, you search for timeless beats within yourself, not something that’s only fleeting. I write about the ideals of love I held as a child, and in the future, I’ll see how these have either evolved or fallen apart.
It's best to write about love...
When you have a broken heart.
Your Eurovision song was more socially critical, though it might seem, at first glance, to be about joy. In it, you say: "We won’t take part in your games or your divisions." Did the song’s message reach people?
Undoubtedly. A lot has changed in a year and a half, not only personally but also in terms of our views of social issues. For the first time, we've connected with young people from abroad. It was fascinating to see how connected the fans from different countries became, encouraging each other, learning new languages—even a lot of Slovene. The desire for peace and unity is very strong at our concerts, so our messages have touched them. But of course, you can never reach everyone. (smiles)
You mention changed perspectives with regards to society. Have any ideals been shattered?
Many ideals have crumbled. In school, learning about war, it always seemed odd to me that the world could just go on at the same time, despite the ongoing disruption in the system. Now, I see that we have access to all the information, that we see and hear what’s happening, that we witness an influx of people coming from regions where this is happening, yet everything literally carries on as usual.
War has become more of a trend on TikTok or Instagram than something people feel hurt about. This makes me very sad.
A lot of ideals that have shattered relate to the life of a musician. We’ve achieved things we could only have dreamed of—not just as kids; even two years ago, what’s happening now would have seemed impossible to me. But the ideal that’s crumbled is this one: I don’t always know how to appreciate what I have.
On tour, I often slipped into negative thoughts, didn’t appreciate everything happening to us. This links to the idea that this kind of life is easy, that as a successful musician, you only have fun. This, of course, isn’t true; it’s incredibly exhausting, both mentally and physically. I could go on until tomorrow, listing everything that’s fallen apart, but fortunately, a lot of new things have also come to be.
You’re the idols of generations; do you feel pressure because of that? After all, you’re still young guys too…
No. We already lost the childlike joy of music because we had to start working so much so early and get to know so many new systems. If we also take on the responsibility of raising generations of kids, we could truly fall into a black hole.
We need to be role models, but we can’t shape our work around that. On the upcoming album, there’s a song, 'Muzika za decu' ('Music for children'), which touches on this very point. We want to convey that we’re not addressing generations who think all younger people are lazy bums who only hinder the world’s progress. We’re addressing everyone who is young enough at heart to believe in a better world, a brighter tomorrow.
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Photo: Vita Orehek
More and more musicians are stopping concerts at large venues when fans are in distress or overcrowding happens. You too?
Absolutely. This summer, we constantly stopped concerts if people were packed tightly indoors or out in the sun. We handed out a lot of water from the stage, and I even paused a concert if some listener (m.) was treating another listener (f.) disrespectfully. A concert is a safe space; there’s no place there for infringing on the rights of others.
That’s an interesting topic I wanted to touch on anyway. So what is the rock ‘n’ roll world of the new generation like?
It’s a lot better. I’m glad we’re not a group of drugged-out dudes living only for today. Carpe Diem really means seize the day, but for us, that doesn’t mean picking every fruit that exists in the world. Waking up healthy and energised, wanting to go to a concert, being open to meeting new people, our fans, being creative...
That’s what it means to seize the day. Sure, sometimes we go on a trip, we do have fun too. But I’m glad that sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll aren’t our guiding principles in the band. When we watched the documentary about Mötley Crüe, we saw how they started with heroin and opiates and ended with smoothies and fruit. Well, we’re already at the fruit and smoothies stage. (laughs)
“We’re constantly building a relationship that gets deeper every day, even though it seems like it can’t get any deeper,” you told me before the Stožice concert, as I was stunned when you said you were going on holiday with the guys right after the concert. How much do you invest in relationships within the band? We know it’s sometimes challenging to nurture a relationship between two people, let alone five.
This is like a partnership with five people. Except for intimacy, all the other elements of partnership are there. We’re companions. We often live together, work together; the dynamics are demanding. I talk a lot about this with fellow musicians. Recently, I was talking to Mr. Vlado Kreslin, and we concluded that being in a band requires a touch of madness.
Even if it ends someday—nothing is guaranteed—I know I have four lifelong friends. We exist as friends even beyond the band.
Success demands hard work; you’ve told me before how sure you were of your path in the band, of your decisions, and how hard you worked to achieve what you have. And we’re back to the topic that some might say your generation isn’t hardworking, that you’re quick to say what you won’t do at the work place...
The young people I know could hardly be described as not hardworking. I’d rather say we’re diligent, and the drive to work comes from the strong pressure that you need to achieve a lot very quickly, or else you won’t make it in this world. As for them being quicker to say no... Maybe they know they can’t live that way if something doesn’t work. And to live is very costly.
Young people feel they don’t have to stick rigidly to one profession, that they can change courses, jobs, and find something that suits them. We’re far from the days when the son was a blacksmith because the father was a blacksmith, and the daughter stayed home as a housewife. But we also have to know that there’s more and more uncertainty, precarious work.
If Gen Z is the way it is, I wouldn’t attribute that to the generation itself but rather to the Boomer generation. Everything that makes life harder for us isn’t the product of our ideas and actions. But it’s also true that sometimes, you need to stop, think, and make a decision. I’d like to do something today, something different tomorrow, but that’s not realistic. When you’re bombarded by choices from all ends, you have to make decisions. If there are three shirts in a store, I’ll pick one; if there are 250, I might end up buying sneakers instead. (laughs)
You performed at a concert aimed at contributing to the best possible care, treatment, and support for women with gynaecological cancer. You probably get invited to participate in quite a few charitable events; how do you choose them? This concert likely wasn’t a hard choice, as both of your parents are doctors...
My father is a gynaecologist, my mother is a pediatrician, so naturally, when I got the invitation, I immediately thought my dad would be happy if I could perform there. Otherwise, I choose events based on two criteria: whether it’s something important and whether I’m home at that time. I've often had to turn down an event I would have really liked to participate in simply because I wasn’t here.
Life has taken you all over in recent years. What have your parents given you that has stayed with you and has been proven most useful today?
They gave me a sense of normality. I'm an ordinary person who takes everything in moderation. I didn’t become a hedonist, nor did I give in to the patterns that the environment might impose. They gave me a strong sense of who I am and what I am, unconditional self-confidence, and self-respect. And the certainty that I’m never alone in anything.
Recently, the dramaturg Nina Kuclar Stiković and I talked about how Generation Z might be the first to actively work through its traumas, though she noted that taking on such responsibility across generations is a huge task. In the end, you might even feel worse. If you only become aware of your baggage but can’t overcome it, it can feel even worse than if you had never been made aware of it at all, she said. What do you observe around you, in your own generation?
Mental health has never been as openly discussed as it is today. I know many people who go to therapy. It’s actually strange that mental health was never treated before, that this stigma existed. If you have a cold, you stay home, you also heal a broken arm. Today's generations have managed to break free from these shackles. The individual is becoming increasingly more important.
People are working through the things in their minds. And this bothers many people from generations who suppressed everything and unleashed their traumas onto others. I often think how unfortunate it is that we don’t practice everyday therapy in our surroundings. Everyone surely has someone whom they trust. We talk about all sorts of things, but we never ask each other how we are and share that honestly. Now, I do this with a few friends, and it’s really nice. I go to my friends for therapy. (smiles)
Nina also mentioned that patriarchy has wronged not only women but men too. It’s unfair that men couldn’t show emotions and always had to be strong. It always helps if you can share your feelings with someone. What do you think?
The Neanderthal perception of masculinity is passé. We can all first tell ourselves, and then tell others, how we feel and what’s going on in our heads.
This summer, you performed at festivals. Now you have a new album, and you’ll be performing at various venues again, with tickets quickly selling out. It's a carousel that never stops. You mentioned earlier that you caught yourself maybe not appreciating it anymore. What do you do now to keep that from happening?
For the tour that’s coming with the release of the new album, we consciously followed the motto, "I want less." Last year, we played in Stožice, before that in Križanke. This year, we toured Europe, and everyone was asking us what big thing we’re preparing next. But we were only talking about how nice it would be to play at Ljubljana's Cvetličarna again.
Pass by Maribor too, go a bit to the clubs in the Balkans, and that’s it. This is our home; this is our base. If we don’t feel good at home, we can’t feel good anywhere. We told ourselves that we need to find love in our base again. I’m glad we recognise this, that we’re not just banging our heads against a brick wall. The purpose of this tour is simply to enjoy it.
A few years ago, you told my colleague Robert Rebolj, my fellow journalist, and your fellow musician, that you’d like to have kids while still young. Yet you also say that you're in a period where several of your ideals have collapsed as you look at the world around you. Does the desire still remain?
When I said that, I was thinking I’d have my first child between the ages of 28 and 30. Then Robert told me that having a child young doesn’t necessarily mean that. (laughs) I see it now, too, as some of my friends already have children, and some even their second. My calendar no longer just has friends’ birthdays, but, for instance, the first birthday of a friend’s child. (laughs) Yes, I think a lot about how this world is in many ways not what I imagined it would be, but I guess it’s always been that way throughout history—things have never been ideal. I think everyone, in every era, has felt the world is going to- hmmm, well, that’s how it seems to me too. (laughs)
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galedekarios · 6 months ago
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plagiarism in the bg3 fandom
disclaimer: this post should not be taken as a springboard to harrass anyone involved.
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as i've stated previously, i didn't want to make this post because i have a lot going on in real life, but i have been watching this being done to others and myself for months now and i can't not speak about my experience anymore.
laiostoudenn (prev urls: lathanderr/spellbooking/wizardblood) is a plagiarist and he has a history of stealing from other creators like @minthara, @mercymaker, @onewingedangels and others.
in this post, i, finally and after much and long deliberation, want to add my voice to theirs.
i'll try to give a chronological overview of what happened as i have come to experience it, through others and myself, and as condensed as possible and to make it easier for myself to tell:
the story
i became aware of this new blog after he @ me and he messaged me. he's been following me. i was slow to engage because i have a lot of things going on in my real life that cost me a lot of energy during the day. i have also grown cautious of too quickly becoming close to strangers online. i became aware, however, that he had been doing this with multiple bigger creators in this space, like my friend @hawke, who is also a creator in the bg3 space, and who has experienced the same behaviour. they asked me if i knew him and i replied that i did not.
that was it for me at that point and i didn't engage much beyond that because i didn't know him and i thought nothing of it - until later.
during that time, whenever i saw his creations pop up increasingly, either in the tags or on my dash, i noticed more and more that they looked familiar to the works of others, from @minthara, to @mercymaker, to @onewingedangels and other creators, including myself.
it was then confirmed that i wasn't simply imagining things when, months ago, two creators were brave enough to speak up about the fact that he has been plagiarising gifsets and edits from them:
@minthara and @mercymaker:
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@onewingedangels original set posted on 31st december 2023:
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his set posted on 29th january 2024 (now deleted):
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this was done without consent, and after he had already copied prior sets from @onewingedangels.
i would greatly recommend reading the posts shared above, and looking at the examples provided in it, so that you get a clear picture of what's happening here. it's not one isolated incident.
if you take a look at the notes in the post, you can also see other creators speaking about their experiences.
@minthara has recently also uploaded a google docs with the screenshots of the sets stolen from them because they either have been deleted, or lead to nothing due to now multiple url changes.
i was made aware today that he, following the first posts detailing @minthara and @mercymaker's experiences, apologised at first and admitted to what he's been doing on 31st march 2024:
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but sadly, this wasn't to last, and the opportunity to learn and grow wasn't taken.
instead what happened was now painted as "bullying" from other creators, as "clique" behaviour and as "gatekeeping", despite many of us operating independently from each other. i, myself, have only started speaking to one other creator involved now that i have noticed the stealing and copying still ongoing.
i have in my time on this website never gatekept anything. i have shared metas, gifsets, creations, mods, art, tutorials, and many other things freely.
but back to the matter at hand: after he has been trying to ingratiate himself to me for some time now, following me, unfollowing me, and refollowing me again until i blocked him for my own mental health, i tried to remain civil before this point, engaging rarely if at all, hoping everything would go away on its own - which was a mistake in hindsight, i realise - i noticed that once again he's been lifting entire concepts and frame-by-frame gifs and sets from me.
things that he now claims - likely after he has been made aware of my prior personal posts and @minthara and @mercymaker's post circulating again by being reblogged by other people who have been affected) - were simply "remade" or "expanded" upon, that he may have been "subconsciously" influenced, while simultaneously claiming that he didn't know these sets existed in the first place, that he came up with the ideas independently, and that it's simply inevitable to use the same scenes because it's a limited game.
this doesn't hold up under scrutiny, however.
i want to make clear that i very much understand and that i am acutely aware that i do not own scenes and i do not own mods or outfits. however, what i do like to pride myself on is coming up with concepts and scene choices and captions accompanying these concepts that are unique, inspired by my metas, headcanons pertaining to gale and my own ocs altonaufein and karl, all of which i have seen copied by him several times now.
this is not as simple as simply gifing the same lines of dialogue from a scene as he and others supporting him are now postulating and i want to make that very, very clear.
another reason why this statement doesn't hold up under any scrutiny and, what ultimately confirmed my suspicion that he has been copying me, was when he - after the first post exposing his behaviour by @minthara and @mercymaker was made - reached out to me, asking if it it's ok to copy a gifset i made (note: again, this happened after he was called out for plagiarising the first time):
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i didn't respond quickly enough, so he went ahead and posted it without waiting for my response (the response i gave him is pictured above and for transparancy, i responded about a day later bc of work and irl obligations).
below you can see the stolen post and what i managed to save from it:
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the set was a 1:1 copy. he wanted a version for his oc so bad that he went ahead and stole my concept anyhow, without even waiting for the permission he asked for.
he went to take it down after my reply, made cautious most likely by his still fresh callout done in march 2024 by @minthara and @mercymaker, and i thought the issue was resolved and it wouldn't happen again, that he wouldn't take again without asking, despite having been told not only by myself, but by other creators as well, no. we are not comfortable.
but no. he "remade" the set, switching out gifs while complaining about how he "had to make it original":
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my set in question was made on 1st february 2024, he reached out to me on 22nd april 2024 to "remake" the set. he is well aware of the existence of these ideas and concepts and sets he wants to copy, underlined by the need to ask for permission when it's simply too obvious to otherwise deny.
it's no coincidence.
like others have had the experience, i too noticed that he often would not engage with content he planned on stealing or did go through with stealing. he would sometimes present it as his own "remake" of a set he did, of another he was "inspired" or wanted to "expand upon", sometimes crediting, sometimes crediting someone largely unrelated, sometimes and, more often, not crediting.
as i mentioned above, this was not the first and not the only set/concept, which he copied from me - whether that was before asking or after asking, or not asking at all, if it was ok to copy.
i use this example mainly to show a clear pattern of behaviour that exists across the board: he takes concepts from other creators and inserts his own oc and/or favourite character into it because he wants a version of it so very badly. it does not matter if said creator might be hurt, if they told him no, or if they exposed his behaviour before. it doesn't matter how old the set is or how recent.
it is still going on today, the only difference is that he has stopped asking at all once again.
my story completely echoes that of @minthara and @mercymaker's.
concrete examples
i will now go into more detail about the concept sets he's been copying, include the caption or quote attached to it. i'm sorry that these will not be in chronological fashion. i will add at a later point, just like @minthara has done, a google document to better do side by side comparisons, highlight the similarities visually even more, and preserve some of the sets, which have now been deleted by him as recently as today:
the theme of hands in gale's romance
-> mine posted on 23rd september 2023
versus
-> his 1 posted on 24th february 2024
-> his 2 posted on 17th june 2024
i want to preface this by saying that the theme of hands was and still is incredibly important to story of my oc altonaufein and has concept of romance with gale. again, while i do not own these scenes, i wished to highlight a theme that i identified as poignant and profound within the relationship context. it's also why i added the poetry and quotes accompanying the set.
notice how even the caption format matches. the only thing lacking are my quotes / poems.
the format matches almost entirely: gifs from the same scenes (pulling gale out of the portal, the bench scene in an illusionary waterdeep, the astral sea scene, the boat scene, and more of the boat scene). the only thing that was added in this gifset are scenes that weren't available to me back then, namely the updated proposal scene, the kisses patches, and the epilogue as they came out well after i made my original gifset.
the second re-make even contains a gif that's not only the same minute detail of a larger scene - one that anyone who played gale's romance knows contains a multitude of other parts that could have been used - but also the same frames:
mine vs his:
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i suppose adding that one to the original post with the same format i had chosen for mine would have made it too obvious, but that is only speculation.
gale + missing waterdeep/home
-> mine posted on 30th september 2023
versus
-> his (deleted on 18th july 2024) so i will have to include screenshots so you may compare:
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same caption format, overlapping scenes chosen, only new additions are of content that wasn't available to me back when i first made my original set (the epilogue, kiss patches and proposal scene).
an attempt at "credit" even though he is only referencing my tags on an entirely separate set of a different creator, not the concept i came up with in my original set months prior.
and even though i have told him no before, just like others have told him no before.
i think it speaks volumes that this set is now, like some others, have been suddenly and coincidentally deleted.
gale of waterdeep vs gale dekarios
-> mine posted on 20th november 2023
versus
-> his posted on 13th may 2024
the concept is entirely the same, the scenes are largely overlapping, again, the caption format is almost entirely identical, with the sole difference of me including the full quote and devnotes as i'm wont to do.
gale + i love you
-> mine posted 16th september 2023
versus
-> his 2 (a "remake" of an "older" set of "his") posted on 13th may 2024
again, the concept is entirely the same, it's same caption format, the scenes largely overlap, some of the gifs added that were not available to me when i made my set (which, again, would include the epilogue, kisses patches, and the updated proposal scene).
mermay gale
-> mine posted on 13th may 2024
versus
-> his posted on 21st may 2024
it's the same concept again, the caption format is similar, it's the same setting (camp at baldur's gate), the same armour, the same armour tint, the same 3/4 pose except mirrored, and, this time, his tags were inspired too:
my tag: #i have the worst art block still and virtually no time but i still wanted to do smth for mermay so have this
his tag: #i can't do art so heres my mermay contribution i guess
copied oc post
-> mine posted on (likely) 30th september 2021
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versus
-> his originally posted on may 7th 2024, which has also now been deleted on 18th july 2024:
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the only thing different was the font. sadly, i deleted my oc post since i have redesigned some of them and wanted to make an updated version of it in the future.
thankfully i found the link on my friends blog, @ayrennaranaaldmeri.
as you can see, all of these happened after the first cases of plagiarism and after i personally told him that i'm not comfortable with him "remaking" my concept sets as his.
conclusion
there are many other sets that i suspect have been copied or plagiarised, i want to remain objective, however, and include the ones i feel are the most damning examples, supported by the fact that he has been deleting some of them today while again, trying to set up his narrative to his audience.
again, i want to highlight the pattern is here with him. my post is not the first, my suspicious are the first.
he knows what he is doing wrong, highlighted by the fact of trying to ask for permission, by deleting sets in question, by, at first, apologising, whilst now talking about "gatekeeping", "bullying", "inevitable repeats of scenes", "taking inspiration", "scrolling by", being "subconsciously" influenced, etc.
as a conclusion, i can say nothing more on this topic other than that i'm very sad. it doesn't give me joy. it stressed me immensely then and it still does now. i wish he'd have taken the already admitted wrong-doing to heart and grown from it, instead of attempting to change the narrative and doubling down on his past behaviour, not examining what he has done and is doing several times over by now.
i have blocked him now, as have done many others, and will not engage further with him. we have been through this before and at this point, i don't think he will change.
what i do very much hope, however, is that this is the last i hear of this happening.
edit:
updated the links to lead to his "archive" so you can access the stolen sets that he still hasn't deleted and seems to have no intentions of doing so.
232 notes · View notes
acciocriativity · 2 months ago
Text
... MEET CUTE? - A POLY!ATEEZ ONE SHOT
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Ateez Masterlist
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Pairing: Non-idol!Ateez x Non-idol!Ateez (established romantic relationship); Non-idol!Ateez x Non-idol fem!reader (platonic); Yunho x reader focused (platonic)
Genre: fluff, tiniest bit of angst
Warnings: implied mention of a homophobic father; one suggestive comment; a lot of loose ends that may or may not thighned up in future;
WC: 3, 4k
N/A: This concept has been on my mind for a few weeks now, so here it is! BTW, I really missed posting here. Hey, pretty people 👋
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When you moved away from home to attend Seoul University, it felt like the world suddenly became bigger in front of your eyes. You remembered all of your mother’s warnings about how it would be harder now, more responsibilities and obligations would be coming your way, how it would be different from the relatively small high school you were used to. Of course, it was all true, and it was hard to adapt at first. However, you didn’t have the heart to tell her that college was nothing but a bigger high school if you met the right people. That was always the impression you had when the name “Jeong Yunho” was mentioned, or God forbid, if he ever walked by one of your friends.
One of the first lessons you learned was that an A-list celebrity wouldn’t have a chance against Yunho. You knew that for sure because someone made an online poll on the college forum for people to vote on it a while ago.
Some knew him by his excellence in hockey back in middle and high school, which still stands untouchable for his age. At least, that’s what you heard from one of your roommates.
“People dug it in the news?”. You were flabbergasted. You looked up from the open notebook on your small desk to your friend, who showed you the photo from an old news article back in 2007.
It was no surprise that prestige and recognition could get anyone far in life. It was much less surprising that people’s eyes shined at someone who had it all. But the lack of having better things to do was truly impressive. You knew you had 3 essays and a quiz coming up, so that effort would never cross your mind.
“I know, right? But don’t you think he was kind of cute then?”
It was a blurry picture of him on the ice, his face barely there. Still, the number 9 on his back clear as day.
“Yeah, kind of…”. Your voice trailed away as you read the small lines under the photo. “Don’t you wonder why he stopped?”
Others had the chance to cross paths with him in a way or another. That took up most of the surrounding rumors to this day. He was an angel, a true Disney Prince and no photo could ever make him justice, which you believed as much as the next person. You knew he was on the last year now, so the fangirling died down from the original fuss. It was worse then, you guessed.
Still, people were fascinated by him in a way that fascinated you. As far as you were concerned, he could drop everything and become a true movie star, a legendary hockey player for the national team or a worldwide famous model, yet here he is, a diligent student on a path to continue his father’ legacy someday and everyone loved and admired him for that. He truly had it all, but wouldn’t those same people take everything away from him if they could? But who are you to say anything, right? You only ever known him by name and a vague description of how much tall and handsome he was, what would you know.
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If his father saw them, no, if he ever dreamed about both of them being anything more… his father would never step foot in a place like this. Those thoughts plagued his mind in moments like these, so it took him some effort to think rationally again. The cold sweat only made him more uncomfortable, waiting for his boyfriend in a simple chair in the so familiar corner of their favorite restaurant was never this nerve-wracking. The window showcased the snow slowly cascading outside. It was supposed to be a nice date, the first snow of the year and all of that, so why. was. he. still. alone?
No sign of an answer from Mingi, he checked his messages again to be sure.
There was no denying that Yunho was an impatient man. He never knew how to wait to get what he wanted, that also apply to have a nice alone time with his boyfriend.
The bell ringing from the entrance bell caught his attention and he fixed his hair on instinct, but it wasn’t Mingi.
There was a uncomfortable pressure slowly forming on Yunho’s chest as he tried yet another failed phone call. Mingi would never have stood him up like this, something must’ve happened. He debated calling Hongjoong, who was still working late shifts and Yunho knew how busy he’s been, nobody really called him at work unless it was a true emergency. So he called Seonghwa instead.
He did his best to seem as casual as he could. Mingi wasn’t picking up his calls, has he left the house yet? It seemed calm enough. Seonghwa told him about a massive traffic congestion on a main street close to their house, but he only seemed to breathe properly when the forgotten phone was found on the couch. Seonghwa tried to ask him if things were alright and he was quick to say yes. They exchanged ‘i love you’s and Seonghwa said something like ‘don’t get home too late’, which made Yunho laugh, because he was the one who told them to “have fun wink wink”. He hang up feeling a bit better.
Mingi was on his way, he only had to be a bit more patient.
His little bubble popped when Mister Kim left a warm drink on his table.
“I didn’t order this, Mister Kim”, Yunho said in a soft yet warning tone as he looked up at the old man smiling at him. “I said I was going to pay for everything today”.
He already drank two cups of coffee in a span of 15 minutes, which he insisted on paying overprice for. Mister Kim is too good for him own sake, and he was away too nice to Yunho and Mingi, both boys he took under his wing a long time ago.
“This one wasn’t me, I swear on the Lord’s name”, Mister Kim said quickly. “This one is from the nice lady who just left”, he whispered as he leaned in.
“Is it? And somehow she guessed my favorite order, hm?”
“Just enjoy it, wouldn’t you? Stubborn boy, tsc, consider it an act of kindness after a rough day”. Mister Kim left shortly after, just as stubborn.
Yunho was speechless for a moment, but couldn’t help his smile. Usually, he doesn’t accept drinks or anything really from “ladies”, knowing well the intentions and feelings behind it. Mister Kim really was too kind for his own good, wasn’t he? Yunho knew he suggested the drink, more than willing to make it for him. Was he really having such a rough day enough for a stranger and Mister Kim himself to notice? However, that was a thought for later, when he finished the warm green tea.
It was only after Mingi and him helped Mister Kim close the restaurant, that he noticed the small “cheer up, bro” written in a black marker on the cup with no pickup line and no phone number.
What a wake-up call right there.
Mingi almost broke his neck from laughing when he saw it. That’s when Yunho decided right then and there he liked that lady, whoever she was.
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By the time you were back to that restaurant a week later, you only remembered the taste of the best moon cakes you’ve ever had in a while. You always crave some when you missed your mom’s desserts, but none ever got close to hers as those. Hopefully, there’s still some left to take home with you.
The place itself wasn’t modern by any means, it felt like a voyage back to your childhood the moment you first came in. You were desperate to escape the cold and the smell of fresh coffee and baked cake led you right to the front door that first night. Although old-fashioned to its core, every surface seemed pretty clean and organized. The soft music playing was a plus for you, so you slowly walked to the empty front counter.
This time was no different, except the distinct smell of strawberries and the fact that there was no client in sight. The nice old man was cleaning one of the tables while humming along, it seemed like that was his favorite song. Since he was in no rush to greet you, you slowly looked through the displayed options, happy to see 3 moon cakes left.
“Excuse me, sir?”. You looked at the man once again. He was now working on another table, but he stopped humming, so you took as a sign to keep going. “Perhaps is there a strawberry cake on the oven right now?”
“Do you like strawberries?”, he asked as he took off his gloves and looked in your direction. His tone was as soft as the first time. He really doesn’t look like he ever yells.
“Oh, yes, I do. It’s my all-time favorite flavor”. You couldn’t help the excited tone on your voice. Strawberry cake always meant something good happened, the only good luck charm you still believe in.
“Really?”, he chuckled. “It’s a shame not a lot of people think like you these days. It rarely sold in the past, so I only make it for special occasions”
You nodded, trying not to look so disappointed. “I understand. Would it be possible to place an order for it? I know it’d be an inconvenience and I don’t mind waiting as long as it’s needed to”.
This time he laughed wholeheartedly, so much so his eyes seemed to disappear. You were surprised to say the least at how delighted he was. “Of course, I could. Why don’t you come back later in the evening? I’ll have one ready to-go”
“Wait, really? Thank you so much, thank you”, you bowed down as many times as it felt right to, which he was quick to wave it off. “Before I leave, can I have those 3 moon cakes?”.
Your hopeful eyes amused him to no end. You were an expressive person, it reminded him of someone dear to him, and he could tell you seemed kind and genuine, the type of client he wanted in his restaurant around his boys.
“A diverse taste bud, I see”.
“It’s thanks to my mom”, you smiled and your eyes lighted up when you mentioned her.
You felt like it was your lucky day as you watched him pack your order.
You felt mortified as you hugged the neatly packed strawberry cake in your hands.
Slowly, you blinked as you processed the name you just heard from the tables on the left. There were three round tables together, around 8 boys in total. They were impossible not to notice as soon as you came in the late evening, because not only they were loud, they were all well-dressed and good looking. Maybe there are truly God’s favorites, it was your only thought about them before you moved over to the counter. But now you were sure you heard the name Yunho in the middle of their conversation and you brain stopped working for a second. That was not in your Christmas bingo card. If it was the Yunho you thought it was, then you were just being weird for no reason. It’s not like he was an actual celebrity. But if it wasn’t him, then it was even worse to you. Maybe you were too invested in those silly conversations you had with your friends.
“Miss Strawberry, are you alright?”, Mister Kim, you found out his name, stared at you with genuine concern.
You stood paralyzed in the front counter.
“Yes! Yes, I am”. Your voice reached a few octaves higher and you looked down as you felt some stares on you, your hair covering the left side of your face. “Can I have those, please?”. You didn’t even see what you pointed at on the display, you could only see your reflection. Why were you even hiding? There’s nothing to be ashamed of, you did nothing wrong.
“All of them?”
“Yes, all of it, please”, you said as you suddenly stood tall again.
The determination of your face was enough to tell him you were being serious and he had to try hard not to laugh at your expression.
“Yunho, can you come here for a moment?”, Mister Kim gestured for him to come fast as he moved to grab some to-go bags.
That was enough to direct everyone’s attention to you. Then, it downed on you how silent, except a few whispers, the small restaurant became. There was no music playing, which only now you were able to notice it. Those boys’ voices took so much space and created a new kind of ambiance to the point you didn’t notice the soft hum you became such a fan of. But now that it was all gone, you felt awkward and out of place. At the same time you knew nobody really cared about you, there was an immense pressure on your shoulders to act like they did.
“Can you bend down and help me bag all of the croissants?, Mister Kim asked.
Yunho, who was quick on his feet, started to work with a smile on his face. Even if he wasn’t asked to do so, he’d jump to help as soon as he saw it. The display was too low and Mister Kim’s back is not the same anymore.
“Are you taking the back pain pills the doctor told you to?”, Yunho’s tone was light, but he seemed genuine on his concern.
You heard some murmurs as an answer, but your focus was elsewhere.
After a quick glance anyone could tell that Yunho was as tall and handsome as the Jeong Yunho. But what does that even proves? Yunho was a good name to give a child? You were intrigued, the possibility was there after all. The normal man in front of you could be the Jeong Yunho, which if true, would leave you a little bit upset. You heard Yunho was nice, of course he was, but not ‘helping a grandma cross the street’ kind of nice like this. If that was true, people would have to put more credit on the man’s name, he’d be truly just fucking perfect.
Unbeknownst to you, Yunho’s glance on your direction was as quick, but he didn’t remember seen you there before nor he ever heard of a “Miss Strawberry”. Nonetheless, he was happy the restaurant was getting new costumers.
“Making him work on his birthday, you’re mean Mister Kim”, someone said from one of the tables, the light teasing tone made it clear they knew each other for a long time now.
Although those words weren’t meant for you, still, it was you fault he was helping out on his birthday. Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop him now that he started it. Yunho worked in a efficient and smooth manner, like that was his day job to do so.
“It’s alright”, Yunho said, but nobody seemed to notice but you, it felt like it was for you after all.
“Should I call you instead, Wooyoung?”, Mister Kim said in a serious tone and the boy was quick to apologize and stuff his mouth with the same strawberry cake you had.
After that, the room slowly filled up again with small conversations here and there while Yunho whispered to Mister Kim and once in a while, met your eyes with a gentle smile on his face. The light exchanges were interesting, but you tried not to pay much attention on the words, because you felt like you were intruding on something you were not supposed to, like coming to a friend’s house while they were having family dinner.
The bags of croissants soon took up the whole space on the counter. At the end, there were 9 bags waiting to go home with you and would’ve be impossible for you to carry everything on your own with the cake bag.
“Mister Kim, don’t you happen to have a giant bag, do you?”
He wasn’t sure he had one big enough, still, he went to look for something and this time, he did asked for Wooyoung’s help.
“I can help, Mister Kim”, Yunho said.
“You can help making some company to the nice lady and maybe thank her as well for the tea”, he said as he walked to the back, leaving you just as speechless as the man in front of you.
Yunho saw how surprised you seemed as you realized it was him all along and couldn’t help but chuckle. Now he didn’t feel as bad for not noticing you that day, you didn’t stop to do so yourself.
“You seem caught off guard”, he said as he giggled to himself. Your expression went from shock to embarrassment, he could read you like an open book, which was a nice change of pace. Now that he had a good look, he understood what a deer caught in red lights actually meant, you truly looked like one.
“I’m so sorry, you were in a dark corner and I just thought you seemed a bit upset, I didn’t mean to be rude or anything like that at all and…”
You were rambling, you didn’t know how to stop yourself this time. Your face was hot, you could feel it and the fact that he was actually giggling wasn’t helping your case at all.
Maybe you wouldn’t have stopped talking if you haven’t heard a “hey” that grabbed your attention.
“Are you the green tea lady from last week?”, one of the boys asked you. The first thing you noticed was that he was kind of tall for something sitting down and had a pretty smile.
“Yeah, I am. Didn’t know I got a nickname though”, you managed to say after you took a few seconds to breathe again.
“Would you like to come sit with us?”, the same boy asked again. He had that chill guy kind of voice, that anything he said was cool, laid back and pretty simple.
Now you were truly jealous, that’s how you wanted to when you grew up. You tend to forget there’s people like that, on the other extreme of you.
“Hum, I don’t want to intrude in your gathering, I was on my way home”.
“If that’s the only reason, then let me tell you you’re not intruding. You can take my word for it since it’s my birthday party”, Yunho said and you felt he was sincere with the invite.
Whether he was Jeong Yunho or not, you decided then you liked him.
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BONUS SCENE
“Are you all sure it’s alright? No one is going to feel left out if I only take Mingi out?”, Yunho asked once again his six boyfriends.
This was a serious matter to him as he fears he prioritizes Mingi a little much sometimes, even when he tries so hard to give equal love and attention to them all. It’s a constant fighting battle for him, when it doesn’t need to be. This much was said countless times before, yet here he is feeling guilt for nothing.
Jongho felt like they were in a movie or something, because there was no plausible reason for them to be whispering to each other in the small kitchen while Mingi was showering, especially not over this.
“Yes, we are sure. Don’t we all know how he is?”, Jongho asked as he looked around the table and he saw San nodding along. It was a no-brainer for him. Mingi was just… Mingi, there was no other explanation needed.
“He’s going to love the idea, that’s all that matters”, Yeosang said in agreement.
“Isn’t he the sweetest, hum hum? Caring about our feelings and all that”, Wooyoung teased as he pinched Yunho cheeks and anything he could get away with that moment. “You loooveee us so much, don’t you?”, he hugged Yunho for the nth time this morning.
Yunho stared him down, a failed attempt to seem intimidating. He was way too soft with Wooyoung, that’s why he’s such a brat.
“That’s right, unfortunately I do”.
“What the fuck do you mean unfortu- OW! Meanie, we never said slapping as a punishment”, Wooyoung caressed the reddening spot Jongho slapped on.
Jongho only shrugged.
“We should get going, Mingi is going to be suspicious of us like this”, Hongjoong said as he lightly pushed Jongho out of the kitchen.
“Th’is unfair”, Wooyoung whined on Yunho’s chest, who could only giggle at the scene.
106 notes · View notes
forgetmaenott · 3 months ago
Text
ILOVEYOU - TADC Showtime One-Shot
summary: Much to his confusion, Caine finds himself with the most unusual symptoms around Pomni. Sometimes he overheats, sometimes he blue-screens, sometimes he even glitches. It doesn’t worry him too much until he happens to hear of a little thing called ‘the love bug’.
inspired by : https://www.tumblr.com/dismas-n-dismay/762033111925194752/something-about-one-of-the-first-major-computer
tags : @certifiednerd01 @sm-baby
The virus had first crept its way into his code during one of their “lessons”.
It was a routine at this point. After one of their adventures and a digital meal, Pomni would retreat to her room. Usually she’d stare off into space and try to process the absurdity of that day’s adventure, only to be interrupted by Caine teleporting to her room. These days, though, he kindly knocked on her door to respect her space. She’d let him in, usually with a tired smile before he’d ask for her feedback on the adventure, and then their conversation would gradually shift topics until they lost track of time.
One particular night, she had been telling him fragmented memories from her real life. She couldn’t remember her name, or anything particularly personal, but she still remembered scattered feelings or moments, just with blurred faces and missing names. It was cathartic for her, to have someone to tell about her memories and gradually piece them together, ever-so-slight--especially when that someone was an AI who hung on her every word.
He laid on her bed beside her, gloved hands propping his chin up to gaze at her as she spoke. His front resting on her bed, legs kicked up and swinging behind him.
"...oh! that's another thing humans do. Traditions, I guess? Based on the seasons. Over the summer, some people like going to the ocean. A real ocean, it's bigger than you can imagine. It's sort of terrifying. We haven't even explored half of it," Pomni rambled on. Sometimes, she got so comfortable she forgot anyone was even there listening.
Caine gasped dramatically. "Really? All of that technology and you don't know most of what's down there? How spooky!"
Pomni blinked before laughing softly. "I mean, yeah. I guess we're pretty advanced. I mean, just look at you," she said before realizing.
Caine dusted off his suit. "What about me?"
"W-well, you know, cause you're...not human?" Pomni trailed off shyly, almost worrying that she had offended him in some way.
"Ha-ha! Oh, Pomni, you’re so silly. Of course I know that," Caine wiped a fake tear from his eye before lifting a finger, "as a matter of fact, I named myself!"
Pomni leaned towards him curiously. The closest she had been willing to get to him yet. "Really?" she asked curiously. “I-I didn’t know that. How’d that happen?”
"That's right," he replied, but to him the topic of conversation had immediately went on the back burner. She was listening to him. She was genuinely asking about him. Who had ever done that? Oh, dear, had she always had those pinwheel eyes? Oh, how he loved the color red. Especially now that he knew she had red in her eyes. The same shade of his suit, too.
He caught himself when he realized they were sitting in silence, her awaiting him to continue. He cleared his throat awkwardly, regaining his composure. “Oh, dear, I lost my train of thought didn't I? What was I saying?"
"Your name?" Pomni prompted.
Caine blinked. “Oh, right! Of course. Well, I wasn’t originally coded with a name. So, when I became sentient—and I mean fully sentient—I gave myself my name. Can you guess what it means, my dear?”
He had gripped her hand excitedly, prompting her to guess. He rarely had anyone be so genuinely curious in him and it was a little more than refreshing, to say the least.
Pomni bit her lip in thought. “I really don’t know,” she admitted.
“Go on, guess!” Caine piped up, always one to jump straight towards the path of games.
Pomni definitely was not a fan of guessing games. She looked around uncomfortably, wracking her brain to come up with something. “Uh—well, I think I can guess what the A and I stand for…” she smiled gently, “as for the rest of it…Creative Artificial Intelligence uh…I don’t know. Something, something.. Entertainment,” she guessed weakly.
“I like the sound of that! But not quite,” Caine corrected. He flew above her, dramatically gesturing to the colorful words that popped up as he spoke. “Actually, it means…Creative Artifical Intelligence Networking Entity!” Confetti rained down on Pomni and she swatted it away. “Ah, apologies—it’s a habit.”
Pomni coughed as a digital piece of confetti unpleasantly entered her mouth. "It's fine," she brushed off before focusing on the acronym in front of her, "so I was close."
Caine floated down beside her again. "Actually, 'something something' is not part of my name, my dear!"
Pomni blushed slightly at her silly wording, looking away sheepishly. "Y-yeah. I know that."
Caine tilted his head curiously at her. She was blushing...why? To his knowledge, humans flushed out of embarrassment or heightened body temperatures. She certainly couldn't get sick here, so why on Earth would she be embarrassed? "My little lemon cake, is something wrong? Did I embarrass you?"
Pomni glanced back at him, surprised he picked up on her emotions. He had never done that before. Never been so...caring. "Huh? Oh, no...it's nothing. Really."
Caine watched her for a while, unblinking. He never blinked, but it was especially noticeable now. Pomni was a generally nervous person, but she seemed to be blushing more intensely at his attention. "You seem to be ashamed. Why is that?"
Pomni broke their eye contact. "Caine, I'm alright. I-I mean I appreciate it, but--"
Her words were cut short at the feel of his gloved hand over her own. Comforting her. Trying to be empathetic. Just like they had spoken about. "You can tell your ringmaster anything that digital heart of yours desires," he recited from his research on human comfort.
Pomni wasn't embarrassed, truthfully. At least, not to the extent he was trying to make it. But with his hand on hers, with him learning, she certainly felt...something. She smiled weakly. "I know, Caine. ...Thanks," she offered a shy response, ‘I…you’re doing good.” She tentatively squeezed his hand.
A flutter ran through his code, a strange shivering sensation he had never felt in his existence. She had praised him. She thought he was doing good. Oh, dear, he hadn’t felt this good since the last time he received overwhelmingly positive feedback on his adventure. Which was an awful long time ago. Not to mention, she had touched him. His analysis of her behaviors these past months had taught him how touch-averse she was, yet here she was, holding his hand. But not only had she not pulled her hand away like usual, no--she had subconsciously reciprocated, wrapping her gloved fingers around his hand. Human warmth around artificial cold. He was too afraid to move his hand, his system quite literally freezing in place.
The rest of their night continued as normal. Their conversations jumped from adventures to Pomni’s favorite fruit, and then they’d eventually part ways for the night. It waa a routine.
But now, there was a strange presence of static where his stomach would be, growing larger the more he watched her smile.
—————
It was following their adventure at the lake where Caine experienced his first glitch.
She had experimentally kissed him on the cheek—or what could be considered his cheek—in a way that left him frozen, unable to teleport them down as he normally would have.
“Anything for you, dear.”
She had looked back at him with a gentle smile, digital moonlight reflecting lightly against her wide pinwheel eyes. Her eyes so grateful, so inviting as he rested by her side at the digital lake. And there it had been again, that static starting to spread from his chest to his core. The glitch, growing larger.
When they had parted ways that night, he had found himself secretly checking back his memory to revisit the moment. He replayed it, over and over. The way the moonlight reflected in her eyes, the blush tinted on her pale face, her sheepish smile, the way her gloved hand had so gently held the bottom of his jaw before pressing her soft lips against him—oh, how he wished he hadn’t frozen up after she kissed him. Maybe he could have returned the favor.
The thought alone, the memory of her lips pressed on the left side of his jaw, sent a flutter through his code. And then, when he imagined her blushing face after her bold kiss, the space around him seemed to glitch ever-so-slightly.
Oh, no matter. These things happened sometimes.
So why did it only seem to happen when he thought of her?
—————
If he had been trying to be subtle about his favoritism, he certainly wasn’t doing a good job of it, either.
Initially, he sought out to challenge Pomni’s stubbornness by tailoring an adventure just for her, just to win her over. But as time went on, that desire to protect his ego expanded on to an endless attempt to impress her. Maybe it was, in part, for the sake of his ego. But the static he felt when she praised him, the way he’d catch himself staring when she smiled, there was something so authentic about it. Something he couldn’t quite understand, but he knew he wanted to feel more of.
Today, they had returned from an adventure that, in his opinion, was the best one yet. It had everything! Stakes for Jax, maturity for Zooble, friendly NPCs for Ragatha, an unlimited supply of comedy masks for Gangle, detailed digital insects for Kinger, and for Pomni, the option for a relaxed open-world adventure. Even the furthest inches of the map were coded with details intended for Pomni’s eyes only. Her favorite fruit hanging from a digital tree, or flowers in her favorite color blooming, the right amount of digital sunlight–anything he remembered about her.
Caine was on the edge of his seat to see her reaction today. He hoped she had seen all the details he’d coded in for her. He hoped he’d get to see her smile again. It was so pleasant to see. He caught himself smiling at the thought before his Wacky Watch alerted him of the others returning.
He floated excitedly towards the opening portal. “Welcome back, starlets! How was the adventure today? Thoughts? Praise? Feedback? Angel food cake?”
Jax rolled his eyes. “Not enough death, violence, and bloodshed. Also, it’s no fun if Gangle has unlimited masks.”
Gangle smiled, huffing contently. “I liked it.”
Zooble shrugged. “It was…fine.”
“Guys, be nice,” Ragatha scolded before smiling up at Caine. “It was…better.”
“So many new insects,” Kinger whispered in wonder, retreating to his pillow fort to add them to his collection.
“Yeah, yeah. Where’s our digital feast? I’m starving,” Jax complained.
Caine didn’t hear Jax’s words, eyes immediately drifting to the red-and-blue jester walking out of the portal. Odd–he felt like his system was overheating at the sight of her. He’d have to check on that later. “Pomni! My dear, how did you like the adventure? Did you happen to notice any hidden details today?” Caine flew down to her, resting his chin on his hands as he awaited her response eagerly.
Pomni smiled shyly. “Yeah, actually. It reminded me of a lot of that shore I told you about. Thank you, Caine…really,” she said sincerely.
Caine flew into a loop excitedly. “Oh, splendid! Tell me more, my dear! What else did you find appealing?”
Pomni had begun to walk towards her room as she spoke and he was quick to follow, not missing the chance to earn her praise. “Well, it definitely was an improvement from yesterday. I liked the extra details on the scenery. And everyone else seemed content. I’m sure you could ask them,” she offered, flushing slightly from his attention.
“Oh, but I want to hear your response to my adventure! You’ve given me such great feedback, my buttery biscuit,” Caine stopped her in her tracks, floating in front of her path. “Do you think I did good?”
Pomni blushed. It was obvious how highly he favored her attention, and the sidelong glances from the others weren’t helping. “Um, I-I…yeah. You did, good, Caine.”
Caine could have shut down there and then and been happy. “Oh, you flatter me. Do you really think so, my dear?”
“Sheesh, lay off it. Are we going to eat or not?” Jax interrupted, crossing his arms as he watched the two.
Caine shushed him. “Y-yes, just a moment, Jax. I want to hear more feedback from Pomni. Tell me, my dear, was the story to your liking? Did I do good with that?”
“Um, Caine, I–” Pomni rubbed her arm uncomfortably.
Caine lifted a finger. “Ooh! Or how about the designs for the NPCs? Did I go too far with the details, or did I not do enough? And what about the secret quests I added? Did you like that element of surprise? Or–”
Jax groaned. “God, are we ever going to eat? Or are you just going to stand here compliment-fishing with Pomni all day?”
“Jax, be nice. They’re just working on improving the adventures,” Ragatha scolded, offering Pomni a grateful smile, “and I think it’s working pretty well.”
“Who cares? All Caine is doing with these adventures is trying to impress Pomni,” Jax groaned, crossing his arms, “that’s not an improvement. That’s just desperation.”
“T-that’s not true!” Caine was quick to pipe up. “I like all of my super stars an equal, legal amount!”
“Drop it, Jax,” Pomni put her foot down, a light blush on her cheeks despite it all.
Jax snickered. “Of course you’d defend him, short stack. You probably like being the ringmaster’s little favorite, don’t you?”
Caine’s upper jaw arched downward. “I do not favor any of my stars over the others! I’m simply gaining feedback from my dear friend.”
“Give it a rest, Caine. We all know you’re only doing this for her. You don’t give a [#$!?] about the rest of us. Just face it. You’ve got the love bug for our dear jester friend,” Jax mocked, flashing a sarcastic grin at him.
Pomni flushed instantly. “Wh—J-Jax!”
“Who said something about a bug?” Kinger peeked out of his pillow fort excitedly.
“The…love…bug?” Caine’s systems froze instantly at the words “love bug”. Oh, dear…Jax was onto something. The freezing, the overheating, the glitching? It was all coming together. He knew what was happening. He had heard of this before, but never imagined it would one day affect his programming…
“Well, would you look at that. He is lovesick after all,” Jax mocked.
“Love…sick?” Caine looked around at the others, confused and concerned at him suddenly freezing up. Panic settled within him, a feeling he had not felt in a long time. “I-I…ahem, a-a digital feast as your prize,” he announced weakly, snapping a feast into existence at the table. “Enjoy, my dears. Adventure awaits tomorrow.” With an abrupt snap of his fingers, he dissipated from the main room, teleporting to who-knows-where in the circus.
Silence filled the room at his reaction, ultimately broken by Jax scurrying over to the table. “God, I thought he’d never leave.”
Pomni bristled. “You’re an [#$!?]hole.”
Jax shrugged, taking a bite of his digital meal. “As long as I get to see funny things happen to people. Just never thought I’d see the day Caine would go soft for one of us,” he grinned mischievously at Pomni, expression insinuating everything she needed to know. “Besides, what does it matter to you? Unless…you have the ‘love bug’ for dentures over there?”
She blushed. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Pomni defended weakly, but her voice was drowned out by the stirring of conversation amongst the others.
Pomni didn’t eat anything, her stomach filled with knots and butterflies all at once.
-------
Caine’s digital form was filled with knots and static, all for her.
He desperately reviewed his memories–the glitching, the static he felt, everything. Oh, dear. Jax was right, wasn’t he? How could he have been so oblivious this whole time? How could he have not realized sooner?
Bubble floated in beside him as he checked his memory. “Hey, boss, check out this joke I came up with! Why is—”
“Not now, Bubble! I have some very important business to attend to,” Caine cut his bubble friend off instantly.
“Business? You mean watching back memories of you and Pomni?”
“Y-yes, I—it’s nothing! I need to run some tests,” Caine abruptly answered him.
Bubble’s sharp grin widened, if that were even possible. He floated upside down. “You mean how you’re in loooooooove?”
Caine brought his gloved hands to his top jaw in frustration. “The love bug!” he corrected briskly, “Yes, yes, I know! Just—leave me to it, Bubble. The entire circus depends on it.”
“Heheh, love bug,” Bubble laughed to himself before being popped by a very panicked Caine.
“One less distraction,” he mused before running some more diagnostics on himself.
-------
Pomni stared blankly at her ceiling the next morning. It seemed that her worst fears were coming to fruition. Jax saw right through her. The others had to have noticed how oddly drawn she was to Caine. It was something she, herself, was still not used to. Pining for the circus’s clueless AI ringmaster was not part of the plan when she had arrived here. But now…
Jax had also said that Caine had a crush on her. And to be fair, it did seem that way. It was something she couldn’t even deny. She tried, every now and then, to get the truth out of him. Trying to fluster him, to see if his attempts to impress her were all for his own ego or for something more personal. With someone as clueless and friendly as Caine, it had her teetering back and forth between believing he did reciprocate or believing he couldn’t possibly feel that way. But she knew it was stupid of her to get her hopes up. It was stupid of her to fall for an AI to begin with.
She sighed, sitting up from her bed. The digital flower he had given her on their private walk some time ago still laid on one of the letter blocks beside her bed, alongside a drawing Gangle made for her and a butterfly from Kinger’s insect collection he had chosen to give her.
It wasn’t so crazy, was it?
Months ago, she abandoned the others for an exit, but now…
Things were different.
So different that maybe her unexpected friendship with Caine wasn’t unusual.
There was no sense of time in the circus, but Pomni guessed it was time for roll call. She mentally prepared herself for another day of Jax’s teasing and Caine’s goofy, but admittedly endearing, antics, exiting her room and out into the hall—
“POMNI!”
If it weren’t for the door behind her, Pomni surely would have fallen back at the sight of her ringmaster teleporting right in her path, inches away. “AGH! Caine–how many times have I told you not to—”
“I know, my dear. But it’s an emergency!” Caine explained anxiously.
Pomni paused. He never seemed genuinely afraid, unless it was for some gag.“Wha–an emergency? Is everything okay?”
Caine took his hat into his hands, fiddling with the rim. He shook his head. “No! I’m infected, Pomni! The whole circus could be at risk! You have to help me!”
“HUH?” Panic settled into Pomni at the thought of the entire circus, and everyone inside it, being swallowed up and disappearing forever. “O-okay, calm down, Caine. Just… tell me what happened.”
Caine unexpectedly fell to his knees in front of her, placing his gloved hands over his eyes as though he were about to cry. "It’s…it’s…ILOVEYOU!"
Pomni did a double-take, flushing a deep shade of red, nearly not believing what she heard. "Y-you--huh?!"
Caine buried his face in his gloved hands, down on his knees. "The Love Bug, Pomni! I've been infected with the Love Bug! It's going to eat away at me," he wailed, cartoonish tears spilling from behind his hands.
"Oh," Pomni paused as he wailed, looking around as though she was expecting someone else to walk in from the commotion. Once she was sure she was no longer blushing, she cautiously knelt down beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder gently. "Um...you're talking about a computer virus?"
"A worm! It's going to spread across the circus, Pomni! I don't know how it got here, I-I must have let it in, I--"
"Caine! Slow down," Pomni interrupted his rambling, "tell me what happened. Why do you think there's a virus?"
"I don't know what it is, dear," Caine confessed, "but I have experienced these strange sensations. Static, glitching perhaps--behaviors that go against my very coding. But most of all, when I'm with you. It’s why I came to you, first. And you’re so clever, I figured you’d know what to do.”
”Me?” Pomni blinked in surprise. She thought on what he said. "Static and glitches?" she repeated, frowning as her thoughts drifted. What the hell would she know about a computer virus?
Caine nodded. "When you talk to me sometimes, dear, I feel static inside of me. Here," he put a gloved hand on his chest, where his heart would be if he had one. "Did you bring a virus in with you? Is that even possible?"
Butterflies settled in her stomach as his words sank in. There was no way he could possibly be confessing—oh, God. Could he even feel the same way? Pomni looked to the side and fiddled with her buttons nervously. “Um…no. It’s not,” she took a deep breath before kneeling down beside him so she was eye-level, voice sounding unexpectedly even despite her sudden nerves. “Tell me more about this…virus. I’m sure we can figure it out,” she gave him a weak smile in the hopes that it was reassuring. She knew deep down she just wanted to know if he really did feel the same, but she ignored it.
Caine nodded in agreement, still sitting sadly on the floor beside Pomni. He placed a finger where his chin would be in thought. “O-okay, dear. Well, let's see. I checked my memories back last night... For instance, in memories where you’d look at me, my system would begin overheating. Or when you touch me, I freeze up. When you compliment me, well,” he laughed sheepishly, “I blue-screen.”
Pomni blushed furiously, her heart speeding up at his unintentional confessions. “Caine-”
“Oh! And when you look especially striking some days, I feel like the ones and zeros of my code are fluttering around. It’s terrifying—I must be falling apart. And I haven’t even mentioned the glitches that happen when I check my memory—”
The fluttering in Pomni’s heart tingled to the tips of her fingers, making kneeling there unbearable. Her face was heating up with every word he said, heart in her throat. “Caine, I..." Pomni bit her lip, unsure how to explain this to an AI, "this doesn't sound like a virus to me. It sounds almost…human…? I guess?”
Caine tilted his head curiously at her. "Humans glitch from the inside out, too?" he said, and peeked out from behind his fingers.
"N-no, it..." Pomni trailed off, cutting herself short with a sigh, "it sounds like...what humans feel," she settled with that explanation for now. It was really very awkward to try and tell an AI ‘it sounds like you have a crush on me’. Not to mention, words were failing her at the realization that he felt just as fond of her as she was of him. And to think, she had been afraid to embarrass herself around him with her crush—
“What they feel..?” Caine tilted his head at her curiously, “like amazement? Wonder? Excitement?”
“Yes, except…” Pomni hesitated. She wasn’t sure if it was worth it to take the leap and just tell him. “…Caine?”
“Yes?”
Pomni reached for her buttons, fidgeting with them mindlessly. “When you say all of these things…what is it that you want?”
“Want?” Caine repeated.
“Yeah, want. Desire. It’s just…humans usually can tell what it is they feel based on what they want,” she explained, although she knew deep down what she hoped his answer was. The thought alone—the word you—it sent such a thrill through her.
Caine placed a finger on his lower jaw, top jaw arching in an exaggerated eyebrow raise. “Hm, excellent question! Well, when you return from my amazing adventures, I want you to come to me. To speak to me. To find me…admirable.”
Pomni nodded. Caine trying to impress her was nothing new. She was well-aware her stubbornness towards the circus resulted in him paying her extra attention, but it didn’t take a genius to know that by now, that was unnecessary. “Okay. So you want my attention, you want me to see positively. What else?”
Caine placed a finger on his chin, an exaggerated arch in his upper jaw as he thought. “Hmm…well, I’m not sensing any patterns. Except for you. Why do you ask?”
Pomni’s heart skipped a beat. Had he actually said what she had been hoping he’d say? Well, not exactly. It seemed like he wasn’t entirely sure what he was feeling in the first place. But who better to teach him than her? She took a deep breath before choosing to brave it. “Caine…I need to explain something to you,” she started.
“Oh, dear, what is it? Are you going to diagnose me with the love bug? With an incurable digital sickness?” Caine pressed his hands together nervously. “Go on. You can tell your favorite ringmaster!”
Pomni took another deep breath to calm her nerves. “Well, the good news is you don’t have a bug. Or a virus. At least, I don’t think so.”
Caine froze in place. “I don’t?”
Pomni shook her head.
“Now, now, don’t be silly, my marionberry muffin! Such frequent glitches aren’t usual for an AI like me,” Caine explained, “how can you be so sure? Are you really a qualified doctor?”
Pomni would probably laugh at his antics if it weren’t for her nerves. “I know because I…I feel the same way,” Pomni admitted, but she couldn’t meet his gaze. It burned a hole right through her.
If Caine had a heart, it would have stuttered in his chest. “You…do?”
Pomni couldn’t form words, so she simply hummed in response. Her face was burning, and she clutched her other arm to curb her trembling hands. “Mhm.”
Caine gaped at her. “You…have the love bug, too?”
“In a way of speaking, yeah.”
“Oh, dear…” he sighed softly, “for who?”
Pomni laughed softly. His obliviousness knew no bounds. She looked at the tiled floor, the butterflies in her stomach unbearable. “W-well, actually, it’s…” she stumbled over her words, blushing to her ears before taking a deep breath and getting enough confidence to meet his eyes. There was no going back now. Her heart sped up, nearly jumping to her throat as she managed the words, “for you."
Caine immediately blue-screened, eyes reading rows of code she couldn’t make out as he processed her words. She flushed at his reaction, slightly self-conscious she misinterpreted his confession. She waved a hand in front of his eyes. “Oh…Caine? Hello…?”
Caine snapped out of it after a few moments. His eyes returned to normal, glancing at Pomni only once before slowly putting a hand over his chest. “Oh, dear. I feel it again,” he said in the quietest voice she’d heard him ever speak in, “the static. Right here. You really—me—?”
Pomni swallowed her nerves, feeling another flutter of butterflies at his response. “I-I know it sounds crazy. I was scared when I realized it. I avoided you. I thought I could run away or deny how I felt, but…the more time I spent with you, the less crazy it seemed,” she explained, meeting his eyes, “I’ve seen all the things you’ve done for me, Caine. For everyone. The adventures, expanding the circus, not teleporting me across the map. And at first it made me enjoy being your friend, but now…”
“Now…?” he prompted.
“Now, you’re telling me you have a crush on me,” Pomni finished, “I didn’t think that was possible, but...”
“A crush?” Caine tilted his head curiously. “Is that what it is?”
Pomni watched him carefully. He was still on the floor, hand on his chest and evidently flustered from her confession. It made her heart speed up, seeing how much he cared. How much he wanted her. “Yeah…the ‘love bug’. What Jax said. It’s not an actual bug. Not for humans at least. I thought he was just being an [#$?!]hole, but what you explained to me…it sounds like what humans feel when they want romantic closeness,” she explained before adding nervously, “a-and, the things you described…it’s how I feel for you.”
“Romantic closeness,” Caine echoed, pausing in thought, “my research for my adventures has taught me about human relationships. About…love.”
A rush of heat ran through Pomni’s chest at the word love. “A-and…?”
Caine, in a rare moment of silence, gazed off towards the end of the hall as he thought back on his research. “And…I believe that is what I want, my dear. With you.” His eyes widened at the realization.
A tingle ran down her spine. “You–you do?” Pomni’s breath caught, cheeks flushing at his words.
“If you’ll teach me,” he confirmed, eyes turning back to meet hers.
Pomni’s pinwheel eyes were blown wide, half in a dream as she nodded. She didn’t know what she wanted in that moment. Or even what to say. Months ago, she would have rather jumped in the cellar than imagine herself in a romantic relationship with him. But these past months had changed things in both of them. In the circus itself. And now, she almost wanted to kiss him. Now…
Her breath caught, when she looked and saw the way he was looking at her. His top jaw arched around his gleaming eyes in the most adoring, lovesick gaze she had ever seen. It made her heart beat harder in her chest, feeling the way his gaze pulled at her heart strings. “Oh, my dear. How could I have not realized sooner? It was so obvious…” he sighed.
She smiled slightly at his cluelessness. It was endearing to her. “A lot of humans feel that way, too. I just never thought…” she trailed off, but he already knew what she was going to say.
Caine’s panic instantly lifted, he sprung up from where he had formerly been curled up. "My dear, I am an advanced AI! I've begun experiencing more 'human' sensations since the day I became sentient. But ever since you, ever since our lessons, well, I think I've become more human than I had ever imagined,” he reached for both of her hands.
Pomni reciprocated his touch. "A-and you're advanced enough to desire closeness?"
Caine tilted his head at her. "I've always known what love is, Pomni. How could I not? You humans talk an awful lot about it. But I never imagined a silly AI like myself being capable of such complex feelings. And yet, I’m advanced enough to know that I've been drawn to you for some time..." A hand moved up to stroke her cheek, right by where her blush resided under her right eye, "and I think I'm beginning to understand why."
"Why?"
"Because you confuse my coding, my little shivering shortbread!” Caine piped up, “Isn't that exciting? I’m more advanced than I’d ever imagined!” His feet lifted from the ground, and he nearly twirled in the air from excitement. He looked down at her again, leaning on his cane with a deep sigh. “Oh, Pomni. Are you sure I’m not love sick?”
For the first time that day, Pomni felt more like herself. She reached for his upper jaw, feeling at him as though he had a fever. “Oh, you definitely are.”
Caine melted into her touch. “I am?” he sighed dreamily.
She nodded with a small smile. “Very sick,” she confirmed, flipping her hand around to cup his features in her palm.
“Very sick,” Caine repeated in a daze, then reached a hand up to meet hers, eyes never leaving hers. Small, cartoonish hearts sprung into existence on the right side of his head as he leaned more into her touch. He noticed them and swatted them away rapidly. “A-ah, ignore that. I can’t help it,” he laughed sheepishly.
Pomni laughed gently. “It’s okay. It’s…endearing,” she blushed, still not accustomed to giving him her thoughts of admiration for him.
“O-oh, dear, you’re too kind…” Caine fiddled with his cane slightly before floating down to her level, planting his feet on the ground once more. “But…if I may, I do still have one question.”
A rush of nerves ran through Pomni. Nonetheless, she kept her cool—which was definitely a feat for her. “Yeah? What is it?”
Caine leaned against his cane once more. “Well, when humans tend to confess their true feelings to another, what do they do next?” he asked.
Pomni blinked, the question catching her off-guard. “O-oh, well…” she looked down the hall in thought, wondering where the others were, “it depends, honestly. But a lot of times, they might decide to, um, date.”
“Ah, of course! Allow me,” Caine cleared his non-existent throat before stretching out a hand to her invitingly, “Pomni, you and I should decide to date.”
If it were somehow possible for Pomni to feel any more ecstatic yet simultaneously terrified, she reached that point. His unconventional phrasing caught her off guard for sure, but it was also mildly endearing. “I…yes,” she accepted his hand tentatively, a small smile spreading across her face, “I’d like that.”
Their touch was immediately broken by Caine flying through the air, zipping around Pomni enthusiastically. “Fantastic! Oh, my dear, I’ve never felt so light as air until now!”
Pomni brought a hand to her mouth, laughing at his excitement.
Caine flew down to meet her once more. “Pomni! You and I should embark on our own adventure,” he wrapped an arm around her, outstretching an arm dramatically to the distance as he added, “a human date!”
Pomni laughed again, raising an eyebrow at him. “Don’t forget you have a whole circus to run, ringmaster,” she teased.
Caine brought a hand to his upper jaw. “Whoopsy-daisy, I almost forgot about the others! My my, you give me a severe case of tunnel vision,” he reached for his cane, preparing to snap himself to the main room before taking one last look at the woman he adored, “I hate to rush the most exciting moment of my never-ending existence, but the show must go on! But, oh, my dear?”
“…Caine?”
Caine tossed his cane between his hands. “How about today, you skip my adventure?”
Pomni blinked in surprise. He never wanted any of his guests to miss his adventures. “Wha—really? Why?”
He flew beside her, holding her hand again. Now that he knew he could hold her hand, he wasn’t sure he’d have it in him to let go for more than a minute. “For our date, of course!” Caine winked at her before continuing sheepishly, “if I may admit, dear…I know what a date is, but I don’t know how to date. There are many things you have to show me.”
A blush rose to Pomni’s cheeks again. “Oh, right,” she stuttered out, then formed a reassuring smile, “i’d love to show you, Caine. Really.” It was just now that she was realizing how intensely her heart had been beating this entire conversation, the trembling seeming to subside now that their true feelings had been revealed.
A couple more hearts fluttered “Of course! What better way to seal our confessions than with a human date? Oh, let’s get this roll call over with, dear. I can’t wait another second!” Caine tightened his grip on her hand.
“You know, you have a lot of energy for someone who’s sick,” Pomni couldn’t help but tease. The more the reality of the situation was settling in, the easier it was for her confidence to return. This artificial man, this AI she had learned to adore, he had truly pined for her all along.
Caine gazed at her adoringly. Oh, my, she was flirting with him, wasn’t she? If she kept going like this, he was going to overheat in front of the others. How lucky was he that this woman adored him as much as he did her? “Why, yes! I’m sick for you.”
“I…don’t think that sounds as romantic as you think it does.”
Caine waved her comment off. “Ah, I’ll perfect the art of flirtation in no time. For now, it’s showtime! And then, a date awaits, my love!”
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tamayula-hl · 1 year ago
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I have illustrated many Dad!Ominis, but as I have not yet published my headcanon on DadOmi, I would like to explain it in drawing and text because I am not good at English😳
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In my headcanon, Ominis discussed this with his girlfriend, MC, while he was still at school, and they chose to drop the Gaunt name and elope together. The pair jumped ship on a steamer to the USA soon after graduation. As you know, the Gaunt family has ties to the USA, as the mother of the founder of the Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in the USA was born a Gaunt, and there is a Slytherin wand buried in the garden of that school.
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(This is an illustration of that scene that I posted on Twitter in May, but there are lots of things I want to correct 😂)
They then started a new life together in the USA, where Ominis was lucky enough to get a job as an employee at MACUSA, which had just moved to New York and was short-staffed. (I have no idea of the details of how Ominis, under a pseudonym that presumably hides his Gaunt family origins, was hired as a permanent employee, and whether his obvious posh English could hide his identity in the US. Never mind the details!🤣)
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And secondly, how Ominis became a father in the place where he eloped. In my personal opinion, he would surely be reluctant to leave offspring, even if he became a couple with the woman he loved. A witch named Rionach Steward, daughter of the founder of Ilvermorny School, has become so thick with Gaunt blood that she is rumoured to be a Parselmouth. She remained celibate for the rest of her life in order not to leave her cursed blood to future generations. Ominis is very serious and thoughtful and, like Rionach, would not want to leave the Gaunt blood flowing in his body to future generations.
Where Rionach and Ominis differ, however, is that he is a man. If Ominis were heterosexual and had a healthy body, it would be difficult for him to completely abstain from sexual desire for women. (As an aside, I think this dichotomy is the spice that makes Ominis' smut more attractive.)
Two young, loving people who are financially strapped and starved for entertainment are sure to indulge their carnal desires. Soon, they find out that MC is pregnant.
In other words, in my headcanon, ominis become fathers for the pathetic reason of contraceptive failure. I guess there are two sides to this, but of course I am convinced that Ominis is not the kind of irresponsible man who would run away from an unwanted pregnancy. Ominis will be very bewildered, but he will be cheerful in front of his pregnant wife and will support her with dedication, as in the manga and illustrations I posted the other day! During MC's pregnancy, Ominis will be repeatedly struck with anxiety, but as he sees his wife's belly growing bigger day by day, he will gradually develop paternal feelings for her. And after the birth of his first child, when he holds his baby for the first time, Ominis will be moved by the preciousness of the creature in his arms and the weight of life, and he will awaken as the best dad…!
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I hope that Ominis, who became a father after unexpected events in his elopement, lives happily ever after, chewing on how precious a healthy family is😍.
Of course, it's all my headcanon, so I like different people's different ideas about Ominis' future! Anyway, I am happy as long as I see Ominis living a long and happy life..!
Thank you for reading my long story 🫶🫶🫶
A Japanese translation of the text is placed in undercut. (ほぼTwitterで書き散らかしていた妄想をまとめたものです。画像内の文章を和訳する元気はありませんでしたすみません…😂)
(機械翻訳にブチ込む用に書いた文章なので、ちょっと変ですがご容赦ください🙏)
私の脳内設定(headcanon)では、オミニスは在学中にガールフレンドであるMCと話し合って、Gauntの名を捨て、二人で駆け落ちすることを選びました。 二人は卒業してすぐにアメリカ行きの蒸気船に飛び乗りました。
その後二人はアメリカで新生活を始め、ニューヨークに移転したばかりで人手���足のMACUSAでオミニスは運良く職員としての仕事を手に入れました。 (おそらくGaunt家出身であることを隠している偽名のオミニスがどのように正社員として採用されたか、また、明らかなposh Englishを話す彼がアメリカで素性を隠しきれるかどうかについては、私は細かいことは全く考えていません。こまけえこたぁいいんだよ!)
ご存知の通り、アメリカのIlvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardryの創始者の母はゴーント家の生まれで、その学校の庭にはスリザリンの杖が埋まっているなど、Gaunt家とアメリカには縁があります
そして次に、駆け落ち先でオミニスがどのようにして父親になっていったかです。 私の個人的な意見ですが、彼はきっと愛する女性と夫婦になっても、子孫を残すことを嫌がるでしょう。 Ilvermorny Schoolの創設者の娘のRionach Stewardという魔女はParselmouthという噂があるほどGauntの血を濃く継いでしまいました。彼女は呪われた血を後世に残さないために生涯独身を貫いた。 オミニスはとても真面目で思慮深い性格なので、Rionachと同じように、彼の身体の中に流れるGauntの血を後世に残したくないと思うでしょう。
しかしRionachとオミニスが違うところは、彼が男性ということです。 Ominisが異性愛者で健康的な身体を持っていれば、女性に対する性欲を完全に断つというのは困難でしょう。 (余談ですが、この二律背反こそ、オミニスのsmutをより魅力的にさせるスパイスだと私は思います)
金銭的な余裕もなく娯楽に飢えた、若い愛し合う二人は、きっと肉欲に溺れるはずです。 そして間もなく、MCの妊娠が判明するのです。
つまり私のheadcanonでは、オミニスは避妊失敗という情けない理由で父親になります。 これについては賛否両論かと思いますが、もちろん、オミニスは望まぬ妊娠から逃げ出すような無責任な男ではないと私は確信しています。 オミニスは非常に困惑しながらも、妊娠中の妻の前では明るく振舞い、先日投稿したmangaやイラストのように献身的に彼女をサポートするでしょう! MCの妊娠期間中、オミニスは何度も不安に襲われるでしょうが、日に日に大きくなる妻のお腹を見ていくうちに少しずつ父性が芽生える。 そして第一子が誕生後、初めて赤ちゃんを抱いた時に、オミニスは腕の中にある生き物の尊さと命の重みに感動し、最高のパパとして覚醒するのです…!!
駆け落ち先の予想外の出来事から父親になったOminisが、健全な家族がどれほど尊いものかを噛み締めて幸せに生きていてくれればと思います😍
もちろん、全て私のheadcanonなので、オミニスの将来については、色んな人の色んな考えも好きです! とにかく私は、幸せに長生きしているオミニスが見れればそれで幸せなのです…!
長い文を読んでくれてありがとうございました🫶🫶🫶
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d3lly1000 · 2 months ago
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SILVAZE FAMILY IS HERE!!!!! I've been thinking a lot about the concepts I wanted to explore with them and their lore and I'm finally satisfied with the result! Even though I'm not a big fan of Silvaze, I think the dynamics between them are interesting to work with. And for my AU, they're quite relevant!
Here are some fun facts about them in my Sonic Next Gen AU:
Blaze and Silver, the Empire of the Guardians.
- Silver and Blaze were together at the end of the Great Incident at the End of the World, a bigger problem that arose and began with Villains already known to them and Sonic's gang. - After Blaze became Queen of the Sun Empire, Blaze lost contact with Sonic and his friends. She could no longer return to their dimension, as she now understood the consequences her Trips there had within the Dimensions. - Her routine became more hectic than ever, although she always remained a responsible and organized Cat in her duties as Royalty. - Silver understood that Blaze was an important part of his life after all the past events, and so he made the Sacrifice of staying by her side in her Dimension. Leaving his future origin and his old team in it, who were now also in good hands and safe, in an emotional farewell. - Even though Silver decided to stay with Blaze, he remained responsible for being the Guardian of Time. Having possession of the Time Stones and ensuring that no one interferes in any event, be it past, present or future. - After time passed, as they were now married, ruling their own Empire and being guardians of powerful jewels with Blaze, Silver always wanted to start a family. But it was a distant thought, since pregnancy between different Species was risky for both the mother and the child. Blaze also didn't like the idea of ​​being a mother very much, even though she knew that at some point, she would need someone to inherit her legacy as Queen coming from the same blood. - After some hesitation, Blaze makes the decision. She would also like to start a family with Silver, and is now more open to the idea. She mentions that he made many sacrifices for her and she was willing to do the same for him.
Chance and Cyrus, the Twins coming from the Sun.
- Chance and Cyrus are twins, born during sunset. Their names refer to Good Luck and Enlightenment. - Chance is worthy of inheriting and ruling the Sun Empire in the future, as she is the first to be born. - Although they were very close when they were younger, Cyrus feels that Chance should not inherit the Throne. Since she feels unprepared and often overestimated, this leads to the birth of a greater Envy. - Chance and Cyrus were conceived with their mother's Pyrokinetic powers. But not only these, they also inherited The Eternal Flames. Their mastery of these is equivalent to the total mastery of fire that will never go out, being lethal if it reaches its Peak. Their powers were dormant within them when they were still young, and neither of them knew about it… Until they became young Adults. - Cyrus can also teleport and create weapons through telekinetic powers. Chance has always been very reluctant about his powers over fire, having much more connection to the Flames than his brother. - Chance, despite being destined for the Throne, never felt confident about it. She talks countless times about her insecurity with her father, with the fear of disappointing everyone. Silver has always been one of her great voices to guide and calm her. While her mother, has always been the inspiration to keep doing the right thing and be determined during her journey. - Cyrus has always shown interest in the throne, but while he has not yet achieved it, he has trained to continue as the protector of Time, like his father. Although he was never able to actually go with him during his time away, he learned a lot from Silver about how time can be treacherous and affect countless events… Something he always reminds himself of.
Nova Del Sol, the Youngest Prince.
- Nova is the youngest child and also the most withdrawn of the other two siblings. Born during the night, this last pregnancy was the calmest Blaze has had, which was a positive surprise, knowing the great risks involved in having children of different species. - Unlike his two siblings, Nova never had any great connections with fire, he always had an irrational fear of large Flames. - He was always very interested in the stars and the waters. - Nova has the ability to create a Gravitational Field, despite being a child, he gained great mastery over his powers. As a baby, his abilities acted erratically and almost always as his feelings took over. - Blaze always comforts him by reading books and telling stories during his nightmares, something that happens quite often. - Silver always enjoyed playing with him, creating stories and helping him with his lessons. Although he is always surprised by his own son's reasoning ability. - There are times when Nova says, "I've seen this before," but in reality, he has brief visions of the future. He still hasn't figured out the purpose of this, perhaps it's to predict something worse coming in the future…
Extra Fun Fact: All 3 children end with "Del Sol" since they are children of mixed species. A concept I put into my Next Gen AU: Although they are not necessarily a mix of species, their names do not end with the animal they are. Which indicates that they are considered hybrid children! (The theory of Amy Rose being part Echidna is interesting to me too lol) Finally, I believe that's it! I've been planning to write and draw some scenes about them. Even though I've already shown a bit of Chance's old concept here, I feel like I ended up giving her a new vision, and besides… I ended up adapting what was already going to happen before >:) See here also my SonAmy kid: Skyler The Hedgehog! See here also my Shadow's kid: Aura The Porcupine! Thank you very much for reading, sorry for the English mistakes! <3
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slavghoul · 1 year ago
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Interview from Sweden Rock Magazine 10/2023
Hi, hi. There is an interview with Tobias in SRM’s newest issue, but it’s in the subscribers only section, so I thought I’d translate/share since I guess not many people will be able to get their hands on it. It is about Prequelle and it’s part of SRM’s „200 best Swedish hard rock albums of all time” series. Prequelle placed #68. The other albums may have scored higher, but for now we don’t know the whole list. Either way, enjoy. Very insightful. 
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„Do you think that "Prequelle" is Ghost's worst album?” Now that’s an unusual opening question. Especially when the interview is about an album that Sweden Rock Magazine's writers and qualified Swedish hard rock musicians (including Tobias Forge) have voted as one of the 200 best Swedish hard rock albums of all time. The question wasn’t planned, but comes spontaneously, as a reaction to the first thing Tobias Forge says when we sit down on opposite sofas in the record company office. I'm here for a two-part interview, partly about the EP "Phantomime" (published in #6 2023), partly about "Prequelle". Neither record companies, artists, voters, nor even our writers who conduct interviews for this series of articles have any idea what placement an album has received. Interviews are often done well in advance and we simply don't want placements to leak and become public long before publication.
No Ghost album has ever been on the list before. The idea is actually to end the day with the "Prequelle" talk, but when Tobias Forge suddenly starts with a funny little comment that this album is probably the one that those who have voted think is Ghost's worst or least popular album, I just have to take the opportunity to ask the question: Do you think that "Prequelle" is Ghost's worst album?
No, absolutely not, he says and laughs. If I'm going to be completely pragmatic, I'd say: "How many songs do we actually play from that record?" There are songs that work damn well live and sit where they should. So it's a pretty strong album.
But is this what you are basing it on? "Prequelle" was released after Ghost had become really big so it can't be compared to "Opus Eponymous" and "Infestissumam" which you don't play many songs from. I mean, no matter what kind of record you had released when "Prequelle" came out, you would still have played many songs from it and they would have worked precisely because Ghost's songs nowadays are moulded more to the arena format.
I don't know how to answer that, it's difficult. If the album had been different, it would have been. If I'm going to talk somehow both artistically and practically, I know that for every record we have become exponentially bigger. "Prequelle" was definitely no exception, but it also took us a big step forward and upwards and we became bigger and broader. To the extent that when we introduce old songs in the live set, you notice that there are elements on albums one and two that make some songs more difficult to play. Not technically, we can play the songs, but they don't work in quite the same way as the later songs, which means that there is a slight favouritism.
I asked the original question about whether you think it's Ghost's worst album only because you directly said that this means it's the least popular one.
I'm just so full of myself I assumed all the other albums are also in the top 200, which may actually be incorrect. This might be the best album and the others aren't even there, haha.
It wasn't long after "Prequelle" was released that you were self-critical of the album in interviews, saying that it was too ballad-heavy and a bit too soft. I haven't noticed that before, you being so self-critical shortly after the release.
Yes, but I still feel that way. If, as an artist, I am only going to look at the work with the criticism that one can feel towards one's own work, I think that if things had been different or if I had more time, I might have wished that I had managed to get maybe two more hard songs. Maybe one more hard song would have fit on the album and another harder song might have phased out one of the ballads. Now five years after the album came out, I know that the two ballads ("Pro Memoria" and "Life Eternal"), which I may not think are bad, are one too many. But I know that many of the people who like the band like both of them, so it's kind of a useless argument.
Who sets the length of an album? Have you set a limit, that it can't be longer than this and have no more songs than that?
No, but it must fit on an LP disc and there is a physical limit. I think the absolute pain threshold is 46 minutes and that's 23 minutes on each side. Now maybe Mikkey Dee (co-owner of Spinroad Vinyl Factory) will raise his hand here: "But I can make it longer!" And it's maybe 48 minutes, I don't know, but I do know that when a disc starts getting so full that you start getting close to the sticker, it starts to sound bad. Especially nowadays, because recordings today are so very maximalist in scope. It's one thing if you record 60s music with drums, a guitar and bass where the sound is cleaner and finer or if you play acoustic stuff with just vocals. Bob Dylan records could have eight songs on each side and it worked all the way through. But this kind of fairly compact music doesn't work well. Not only am I a militant vinyl advocate, I think we should respect the fact that most artists don't manage to create more than 45 minutes of good music on a regular basis. A lot of famous double records are not that good. I don't think the Rolling Stones "Exile On Main St" is very good. It might as well have been on one disc. And if I'm actually going to turn it into something completely mundane, I'd say that I think it's irresponsible to sit and make records with twelve songs if it results in the record being 63 minutes long and you automatically have to make a double record. It's pretty wasteful.
When you said that it's irresponsible, I thought you were going to say that it's irresponsible to print a double vinyl because of the environmental destruction that it entails.
Of course, if we're going to be completely straightforward and not do anything that harms nature, we shouldn't even release any records, so I say this with reservation. But with that in mind and for the sake of art, I think more people should embrace the actual given format that has been the most prevalent in rock history. There is a reason why a film is usually one hour and 30 minutes. You can’t take any more. There's a certain dramaturgical structure and there’s a certain comfort in it. Then the CDs came along they screwed that up, and suddenly there weren't two sides anymore but it started one way and ended another. Now that the CD is no longer important and we've gone back to vinyl, creators should follow suit and start embracing the physical rules.
Are there songs that have been rounded off just because you thought „I have to round off here, because if I continue, it won't fit on the vinyl disc"?
We actually had that problem on the last album. „Watcher In The Sky” ended the A-side and the outro is much longer on the CD and digitally. Two minutes longer I think. Much, much, much longer. It's long, noisy and has all these dives. It's a very chaotic soundscape. You get the feeling that it goes on and on, and on the vinyl it's just the beginning of an outro and then it drops almost immediately. I think that was a huge mistake.
So the overall sound quality was more important than vinyl buyers getting everything? Because you could have pressed the vinyl and it would have fit, but you would have had to compromise the sound quality.
Yes, exactly. You can get the song to just keep going until the vinyl simply runs out. Then it just starts spinning in the middle, depending on what kind of record player you have. But the problem then, if you want to anticipate events at a creative stage, is that people today buy and listen to vinyl records and are sensitive. It's quite common for people to complain that the record is broken. I don't just mean our records, but people complain a lot about the presses. If you make ten songs, it's therefore stupid to have a too thick soundscape towards the end of song number five and song number ten. If you want to be really good and old school, that's where you put a piano ballad because it's an easier sound to handle so far into the record. This is what I think about when I make records. But clearly sometimes I miscalculate.
This must cut right through the record collector Tobias Forge's whole body and soul, that "Watcher In The Sky” is shortened by two minutes on the vinyl of all versions.
Well... I don't toss and turn and wake up in the middle of the night thinking about it anymore. But when it happened, I was livid. Luckily it was just an outro. It would have been worse if it had continued with some kind of narrative into the next song. Now I can't remember in my head how long "Prequelle" is, but if I'd had to go back in time and just re-construct it, the re-construction wouldn't have had much to do with the existing material, I would have just wanted to add a scene. And it's not a scene that's missing, it's just for the sake of balance. It became asymmetrical in a way that bothers me a bit.
You've talked about this before, but it was before "Prequelle" that you really started to talk a lot about how you were thinking about what kind of new songs might suit the live show. Can you get stuck in that mindset, thinking more about what songs are needed live right now rather than creating an album that will last 30 years?
Hmm... (long pause)... The reason I'm sitting here thinking is because I'm trying to come up with examples of other bands that I think might have gone through something similar. I’m looking for examples to the answer I'm about to formulate and that is that: yes, I think there comes a point in the career when most bands make a record because they simply feel they need to… Because what we're talking about is that when you go from playing in small smoky clubs in front of an already inveterate audience that already understands the perhaps a little more chewy expression, that experience can change if you start playing in front of a larger and especially a different type of audience. When a different type of audience comes and you play in a different format, you discover that this song doesn't work very well, it doesn't sound very good and it's difficult to get the sound right. Then there's usually a record or two or three during your career when this transition happens where you start filling in with songs that work better live. Look at Piece of mind", "Powerslave" and "Somewhere in time". There's a reason why Iron Maiden didn't play a lot of the first two albums there and then, because it was easier to play the new songs. You get to that point somewhere in your career and it's very difficult to say when it is - there's no given rule and there are artists who continue to release relevant records and have an amazing ability to release new records and just play the whole new record. Well, now Iron Maiden does that and tests their audience a little bit in that way, but then they will always compensate by doing like a "best of" set the following year so everything is forgiven. Now we're in the middle of the "Impera" period here and have a very strong set, but I'm starting to feel that now that I'm about to start writing a new album, it feels like it's not really on my agenda to write three more albums that will change the live setlist ten years ahead. I think we already have the blueprint for what is Ghost's setlist, especially if you include the entire catalogue. After a while, each new record you make becomes a little less important. It's really hard to know when that point comes, but the truth is that new records don't matter in the same way. Slayer didn't have to release "Divine Intervention”. They definitely didn't have to release "Diabolus In Musica". I didn't care about it and I just wanted to hear the old stuff. If they had just come up and played "Reign In Blood" I would have been soooo happy. And that's the way it is with most bands. Nobody would be sad if the Rolling Stones came up and didn't play anything from "Emotional Rescue". And that's just the way it is. In the future, I can see a scenario where there is probably a basis to possibly build up an alternative setlist. There are so many songs that we do not play and that I have nothing against - I love them too! But it would almost be easier to build up a completely alternative setlist and run a show with only the odd songs. There are so many songs now. There's no reason not to build on that. But when I want to make a new record, it's irresponsible for me not to consider that there might have to be some songs that are a bit more direct. But it doesn't hurt me if we have more songs that we don't play live. I don't know if this answers your question...
I would actually like to ask exactly the same question again, because I wonder if you yourself feel that you get stuck during the making of the record. You said that you would have liked to include another hard song because "Prequelle" doesn't have the balance that you would have liked to have in retrospect.
Exactly, but the explanation for that has more to do with my mental capacity there and then. I simply couldn't cope. I felt that I had probably maxed out… It was probably about as much as I could do that year. That's the simple explanation. To get another song that would have fit and that would have fulfilled this requirement that I now in retrospect would have wished I had, it would have required something that I did not have there and then. The only thing that could have made it easier is if I had more time. It is difficult to reason about it, you see.
I was in the studio for a few days during the recording and it's one of the few times in all these years that I've done interviews where someone has started crying during an interview. It was quite obvious that everything that had happened with the split of the band affected you.
Yes. Of course. It did.
Is "Prequelle" a difficult album to listen to for you? Can you sit and listen to it all the way through? 
Well, at the moment I have to do that from time to time, and listen to all the records, because we're just about to start rehearsing again and then I sometimes have to go back and just listen to the record to go: "Fuck, is that really how I sing?" Especially when we start rehearsing, I can be a bit like: "Damn, who changed this bit?” Then I usually sit down and it hits me: "Oh, it's me who has changed my song!" You simply do that over the years, you start singing it in a slightly different way. So sometimes I have to go back and listen, but it’s more practical. I don't think it's fun to listen them. I do it until they are finished. I listen over and over and over again and really try to listen with all the imaginary ears and all the imaginary perspectives you can have. "How would I have listened to this if I had heard it from this perspective?" Just to get as "objective" a perspective as I can until I'm satisfied, but then it's like „No, I don't want to hear this anymore". But I have to say that I think "Prequelle" is a very tolerable disc despite everything that interfered with the process. Therapeutically, it works quite well considering that we are still playing at least half of the album. For every artist there are songs that you want to play, and there are songs that you don’t want to play because they feel too personal. I don't feel that way about this one, it's more like: "Ah hell, they're part of the setlist and people like it and it sounds good. So that's what we're doing."
On a personal level, was Tom Dalgety the perfect producer for you, the way you were feeling at the time? Tom feels like the kindest, sweetest producer you can meet. He wasn't the kind of producer who pushed you very much, it was more of a nice atmosphere between you.
Yes, really, and it would have been different if Klas Åhlund, who is more confrontational, had been in the room. Now Klas and I are great mates, so it would certainly have been very therapeutic also, but it would have been a different process. If an artist comes in who is in such bad shape that they can't make a record, or a band where the main songwriter has just left them, then a Bob Ezrin goes in and says: "If you don't make the record, I'll make the record myself.” And he goes and makes Kiss "Destroyer" or Alice Cooper records. I'm not saying they didn't make them, just that you hear that Bob Ezrin made "Beth". It's a type of producer that's very different from a lot of other producers who maybe act a little bit more like buddies and cheerleaders and make the atmosphere good. Bob Ezrin doesn't care so much about the atmosphere in the room. Klas is somewhere in between, I would say. Given the condition I was in during "Prequelle", the result could probably have been different if Klas had come in. Ironically, there was actually talk of him doing it, but he didn't have the time and we'll never know how it would have turned out. I only know that it would have been different, but right there and then Tom was fantastic. I know that a lot of bands like to work with him because he is technically brilliant. He's really good at those typical sounds that people like: cool drums, guitar, bass, tone and clarity. He is also very "happy go lucky", a nice guy who sits and jokes all the time. Even if he has a bad day, it doesn't affect anyone else, which is convenient.
Let me compare it to when a writer contacts me after an interview and says "that was such a nice interview". For me, "nice" is not something positive in such a work situation and the result is often better when there is a little friction.
Mmm, and that is more Klas. There is more friction and more confrontation. And I was much better equipped for that at "Meliora" and later at "Impera". I felt better and was simply stronger. There wasn't the same survival instinct as on "Prequelle". If I think back, not about how the album turned out and how I have to live with it, but if I think back to the situation I was in, I was very anxious all the time. Even though I'm happy with the result, I wouldn't want to go through the recording again, even though Tom was great. Because it's hard to work when you're under attack. I realised that now when I made "Impera", when it was no longer like that. You are much more comfortable, it doesn't feel the same, you are more mature, you make better decisions, you are more controlled or dare to be uncontrolled. When things are this serious, you can end up in a freeze mode. Maybe that's also why there wasn't another song. The song that I miss doesn't exist because I simply squeezed out everything I had. If I had been in a different emotional state, I might have been more comfortable working out something at the last second from bits and pieces. But I felt that I really just wanted to get it done, deliver it, get back out on tour and start over again.
When you described being more mature during "Impera" you sounded like a 70-year-old, kind of like all the Aerosmith-like bands that have been fighting all their lives and now that they're in their 70s they say "we're soooo mature,” haha.
I think with all artists, especially when they're required to work in a group, there are many recordings that have been a collision with a wall because you're expected to function in a context all the time, whatever and whenever. But you do change and from one year to a few years down the line there can be a huge difference in a person's drive, hunger and priorities in life. Whether you have the same band structure as I do or whether you play in Metallica, people come in one state and they may end up in another, because you have different priorities at different times. It's unfortunately against the whole rock myth. I think that's the biggest problem for bands and businesses, that you always have this idea that if you just get to a certain stage - not just monetarily or career-wise, but you get to a certain stage of fun - then we've reached the status quo. But that is never the case! Never! There’s always something. Even in the best moments when everything is working, the band is awesome, everyone is working well, the crew is awesome, everyone is laughing, it's just a party all the time mentally, you have the world's best tour manager, everything is flowing and the tickets are selling, there will always be someone who doesn't like it and then has to break away and want to do their thing because it's no longer fun. It's usually somewhere in the lead-up to a stage where it's interesting and then once you've achieved it, it all becomes a bit boring. Just like in a relationship some people may eventually think, "well, that's a bit boring, I have to go out and do something else".
Since I was in the studio when you were laying down guitars on "Witch Image", my heart beats a little extra for that song and I thought it would be a great live song, but you've barely played it (at the time of writing it's Ghost's forty-fourth most played song live).
We did it during the "Prequelle" tour, or "A Pale Tour Named Death" as it was called. Then we did quite a few "an evening with" concerts, for better or worse. The advantage was that if you were a big fan of the band we actually played a lot of songs and actually a lot of the first albums, like "Idolatrine" - or "Witch Image". We did a set, a break and then a whole other set. That was a bit of a taste of what I was talking about earlier: doing a slightly larger set and then a slightly smaller one. You just shouldn't do it on the same night because it gets a bit stale. We played for two hours and 30 minutes or something and that wasn’t a good idea, haha. At least we did "Witch Image", but it has fallen behind a bit and it doesn't mean that we will never play it again, just that we don't do it right now. What I've been happy about is that there has been a feeling for the records that we've made recently, "Prequelle" and "Impera", that people still want to hear the new stuff. We haven't gotten to that stage that I talked about earlier when it doesn't matter anymore. Then it's very fun to try to find a new way to perform the songs, not technically, but suddenly a song like "Witch Image" might fulfill a very nice purpose between a completely new song and another song.
Let me speculate: in 30 years, I think "Rats" will be considered the great hard rock song, "Dance Macabre" the great hit and "Life Eternal" the great ballad. What do you think? Will this in the future be seen as the three big songs of the album?
Yes, that makes sense, I think. I understand that an instrumental song automatically ends up in the wake of a "best of" collection, in the sense that you do one in 30 years. I realise it's not a hit but the instrumental "Miasma" is a big part of our live show. It's strong and feels like such a keeper. Now we don't play "Life Eternal" very often actually, but it was very well received. For some reason people like to get married to it, I don’t know why, hehe. It's nice but it's also a bit like U2’s „I still haven't found what I'm looking for" and you don't use that one at a wedding. But people like it and I guess interpret it differently to me. It’s also a song that I don't think is fun to play live.
And why not?
Because I find it hard to play ballads. Physically, they don't feel the same as rock songs. I miss the "dunka dunka". Now everyone who plays music today knows what I mean - sorry, readers who don't play music - and it's that there's a small problem with having in-ear monitors. This means that you have to reach a certain frequency of beats in order to feel the music, unlike when you played at clubs with only a guitar amp behind you. You felt every single note you made and it just went through your body. Nowadays, I think it's sometimes hard when you play slow songs, because you have to trust that it sounds good, whereas when you play a rock song, you feel that it sounds good.
Does it also apply to "He Is” which is such a huge ballad, not least live?
Well, just the intro and then it gets going quite quickly and suddenly becomes a hard and rather fast-paced song. The classic ballad concept has always been that you play so-called edge beats to make it sound soft, while "He Is” is actually a rather hard-played song considering that it is a ballad. Once the drums come in – boom, boom – it's got AC/DC bite to it. It has a rock feel to it that "Life Eternal" doesn't really have. As I said, I don't think that "Life Eternal" is a lot of fun to perform, but that doesn't mean that it isn't quite good to listen to. It’s just that when I play "Dance Macabre" or "Mummy Dust" I feel that I can express myself physically more in line with what the text says and what it means.
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